All I want to focus on is you.
this perfect essence of light has shined through; has become something i never
thought it could ever be.
you have somehow, someway, sparked the caverns within myself
that went so far down, twisted and turned within my body to canvas, and mold your soul within mine,
to make me one, to make you one, us one.
You have captivated my every sense, to be able to think about
the glories of this life, to smell the oranges that hang from the nearby tree, to hear the sounds of life being formed and worsened as the world goes on and on; to touch you.
To feel every bone in your body, as you fill my lungs
with sweetness, I exhale the shivers you put up and down my spine.
As i see you become a part of the cycle worsening
with every puff of smoke, killing your body softly with the love of myself, every touch, every canvas piece of artwork you sculpt with the cigarettes inhaled into your mouth is a piece of love telling you to never give up.
Ive seen the pieces of you that are rusted, the pieces that you seem to throw away and never recycle;
never refurbished to make a little change, to make yourself the slightest bit better, yet i stick around to watch you like a puppy dog as my life worsens and becomes part of the cycle you live in.
My momma told me to never smoke, because I would inhabit the life that you have.
I would never become well enough living in a lifestyle of dirty sobriety that could ever become cleansed, and soon i get addicted to what you are and what you do.
And it turns me on. It makes me someone I'm not; it gives me the feeling of attraction to you even more as you peel away every layer till you reach it.
You reach for it, clench, twist, shaking and shattering within yourself and you kill my heart,
slowly being intertwined within your hands, filled with blood and anger, but i still want to be close to you.
I still choose to be in this lifestyle that never suited me, was a false accusation of love within, only for sex and hatred that became a river of love, that flooded my heart, along with yours, making no sense with the two people we are, we were.
Coming from two different worlds; a life of riches and one with weakness and filth, you somehow overwhelm me with a thought of love;
a thought that gold and jewels are not a significance of anything, that even my life had became something that was wasted;
wasted being that,
my starvation of life could only be filled by riches, and that, was a lie.
That was a direction i wanted myself to stray from.
But you, pushed me in a direction of peace; of a lifestyle to be calm and observe.
Observe what this life has to offer despite the hatred that has been placed upon its mountainous surface;
along with the flaws in the hills, our lifestyle matched the textures of the earth.
We become one with the earth, until a volcano erupts, and life becomes strenuous and filled with the morals of a demon, and you became one, yourself.
You became the person i thought you could never obtain to be; to hold that personality so tight, with the grip of a snake, you captivated me,
you squeezed, clenched and held so tight, just like the night you told me you loved me, and i thought i was never going to be let go,
and I was gone.
