We all have the relationships that we regret, laugh about but most importantly we have ones that we learned from. The most important thing I learned, is how I deserve to be treated.
When I was 16 I got experienced in my first round of heartbreak. The heartbreak was not the problem, that is a normal part of life. The problem was how it happened. I was made to feel like I was replaceable, and I let him do that. No matter how many times you broke up with me I forgave you and pretended like nothing ever happened, and you also let me do that.
You knew I didn't have the strength to turn away and you could tell I just genuinely cared, but you took advantage of that. You took advantage of the fact that you were my first love, and you knew you were the puppet master in the relationship. You taught me that a breakup is not something you should take lightly, it is something that is permanent and means things are over. If someone breaks up with you once, trust me they will have no problem doing it again.
When I was 18 I dated someone who ruined my confidence. Someone who I do not even want to waste time going into detail about but he taught me the most important lesson that I've held tight. You should never give someone the power to destroy your happiness. The first time a significant other tells you, you are not pretty you should tell them to get lost. When someone tells you, you should sacrifice your life and goals to be around them more because my dreams were stupid and didn't matter.. well I should have just walked away right then.
Long story short The first time you talked down to me or made me feel like a lesser person I should have told you, you didn't deserve a person like me. But I didn't. And it took me a long time to get to the point where I could. Once I found the strength to walk away I found an inner strength that would just continue to grow. You taught me how to love myself again how no person would ever be given the power again to take that away.
Later in the wonderful year of 19, I started dating someone who had the potential to turn into forever. But that forever was quickly trampled on by raging jealousy, immaturity but most importantly cheating.
You taught me that a pretty face doesn't discredit the fact that you were still a little boy. You acted in the moment and didn't take a second to think about how it may affect you later. So that would go into the whole cheating thing. But you were also possessive and didn't want me to have a moment of life that didn't include you. We became an "us" and at the expense of that, I started to lose sight of me and what I really wanted. I wanted to have my own future and goals, not just coasting off yours.
There were boys before, after and in between these but those taught me the most important things. They taught me self-worth, not to wait for someone to care, to date someone who is maybe a little challenging, and to be with someone doesn't drag you down. Be with someone who encourages you, and makes you want to be your best person. Though the most important thing I learned from all of these boys is that they were not the one, and were never meant to be.
Thank you to all you boys who just turned out to be frogs. Without you, I would have never found the man I'm with today who has also taught me a few things. He has taught me how a man should treat a woman and all the respect that entails. He has taught me how to be loved without sacrificing who I am or my dreams.
He has taught me I can always be better and do better, to strive for my best life. He has taught me that I do not need the approval of others because I am doing great and that they have no right to judge me. Most importantly he has taught me that anyone would be lucky to date me. And trust me, he reminds me every day how lucky he is to be in my life. He has taught me that he will never take me for granted and will always support me because I deserve it.
I 'm sure I will continue to learn, whether that be good or bad we'll see. But I'm glad I get to do so while being a little bit stronger, wiser, most importantly knowing my own worth. Because you are special and do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
