The first boyfriend I had in high school I ended up dating for about three and a half years. As one can imagine, just about all of my memories of high school, my teens, and the town I lived in include him. We did everything together; we did everything together for years. But now he is long gone. Years has gone by, and I have chosen not to speak with him anymore when he has reached out. Things did not end the greatest, but nobody and no breakup is perfect.
Fast forward to now. My current boyfriend is absolutely amazing, but there were things that drove me crazy when we first started dating. I hated anything that reminded me of my ex. But it was silly little things like a joke he would make or a show or a song that he liked. At times little things like this would freak me out and make me question being with him just because it reminded me of my past. But slowly I realized that my boyfriend is nothing like my ex. They are polar opposites in terms of morals and values and the way they treat me. The more I thought about their similarities the more I realized it was mostly pop culture and demographic related interests. They are both two years older than me; they both grew up in middle class families in the suburbs; they both grew up watching the same shows and hearing the same music; they grew up surrounded by the same fashion trends and sports teams. Just because they could both quote the same character or have the same target t-shirt didn't mean anything.
This showed me that on a surface level most guys I meet similar in age to myself are going to have similar interests to that first boyfriend that made such an impact on me. So, as much as I would like to forget most of that relationship, I will always be reminded of it in others of similar age and demographic, and that's okay.
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