I often think that if I ever wrote letters to all the boys I've "loved" before I would end up blocked or cussed out, you might feel the same way, so here I am writing one to a general audience. You know who you are.
All love stories don't have beautiful endings, but I think that's what makes them interesting and worth the time.
Going into something knowing that the ending is uncertain has a certain mysterious beauty behind it, and you can't deny that. I feel that way every time I develop a flirtationship. I have all these beautiful dreams for me and almost every boy I've ever "loved" and I dive into it deeply.
I love hard. It's always been the hardest thing for me to deal with. Some boys will leave you feeling empty and strange about yourself, and others will leave you with beautiful memories and tons of pictures still hanging on your walls because you don't want to forget those days and nights and long talks. And then there are those boys who just leave. No goodbye or see you later. No rhyme or reason. And you're stuck picking up your own pieces of your own heart, but you do it because you are strong and you know that the things you're feeling will soon be interrupted by new feelings.
So, to all the boys I've "loved", you were beautiful chapters to my book. You may have not made as much of an impact on me as others did, but you made one, no matter how small. You may have been the boy who the goodbye was hard, you may have been the boy that I was sort of happy to see go, or you may be the boy that left without an explanation or a phone call, but whichever one you are, thank you for the moments you gave me. Thank you for loving me momentarily how I needed to be loved, and thank you for helping me write a chapter in the book that is called life. Each one of you has helped turn me into a stronger woman who is more in touch with her emotions and that is something I'll never regret, just like each of you. I'll never forget the moments, and I hope you don't either.
With all my love,
Hannah