He buys you flowers: goals. He takes you to your favorite restaurant: goals. He takes you on an all-paid-for trip to Bali: goals. Wait, what? I'm not sure what the deal is with "relationship goals," but it is certainly a phrase that gets thrown around a lot. Before I start telling you why these so-called "relationship goals" are stupid, let’s take a look at the word “goals.”

To be honest, the word "goals" gets overused so much its meaning becomes unclear and irrelevant. In simple terms, goals are usually something we want to achieve. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do something because it makes you a happier person. The problem is that people start to twist the word’s meaning based on false perceptions of someone else's life. We constantly see pictures of “perfect couples” and think, “Wow, I wish that was me. I wish I could have someone like that.” Well, that is all a load of crap. I’m sure these people aren’t actually being 100 percent serious when they make these comments, but seriously? It just makes you look needy and jealous, which are two things that aren’t attractive when it comes to relationships.

One of the most popular “perfect couples” that we see constantly on social media are Alexis Ren and Jay Alvarrez. I’m sure you have seen their pristine, color-corrected Instagram photos that supposedly show how amazing their relationship is.

Not to mention Alvarrez's perfectly edited YouTube videos. One of his most popular videos is a montage of the California couple doing wild things like snowboarding, skydiving, surfing, etc. When I first came across this particular video, I didn't really think too much of it. Being an avid YouTube viewer, I was keen to discover new content and randomly clicked on it. My initial thoughts were, "Wow, they're both attractive. I've always wanted to do that." I think most people can relate, especially if you clicked on this video having no prior knowledge of them. Scrolling through the comments, I was kind of shocked at how jealous people were of their relationship. One person wrote, "Screw my miserable life" and another said, "I don't understand how you guys exist like this is soooo perfect it's insane."

After I considered the backlash they were getting, I figured, "How do they afford to do this? Aren't they my age?” Besides the fact that they are both models/actors, there's probably a number of sponsorships and personal wealth behind this. Of course, this doesn't deny the fact that they are exploiting their relationship for views, subscribers, likes and followers. For instance, most people only post the good parts of their lives on social media (except for the people who keep whining on Facebook, but we will leave them out of this). I mean, this is only human and it makes sense. If I’m putting myself out there on the Internet, I want to showcase the best things I’ve experienced, not the worst things.

The problem begins with the fact that they are only showing us the highlights of their lives. While I have nothing against this, I cannot begin to describe how many people have taken their accounts and relationships way too seriously. As a result, people set unrealistic standards for their future relationships. I hate to break it to you, but it is very unlikely that your future boyfriend is going to cruise around in a Lamborghini with you. It drives me nuts, but this is the perfect example of how detrimental social media has become. People literally know nothing about their relationship besides what they see in pictures and videos and they start to jump to conclusions.

Even though we do not know all the details of their relationship, the image they created online of their relationship is just a fabrication. From pictures and videos alone, it is hard to judge whether or not they really are happy together. If you think about it, a four-minute YouTube video is only a tiny snippet of someone's life. I mean, they could've just been putting on a show for the cameras. Who knows, maybe they really are that "one-in-a-million" couple, though. The point I'm trying to make is that there is no way of knowing the truth based solely on social media's portrayal of the "perfect" relationship.

A relationship constitutes a deeply-rooted connection between two individuals, yet social media has the ability to present flawed relationships in the most innocent way. This connection can only exist once you know who you are and who you want to be. In terms of relationship goals, goals start with formulating an understanding of who you are as a person. If you aren’t sure of who you are, then it is going to be impossible to have a loving relationship with another human being.

This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to know what you want to major in or where you want to live in five years, because things never go as planned. What I am referring to is the general idea you have of the person you strive to be in life. You may not be there quite yet, but you are at least working on getting there because that’s what you want.

If you’re the girl (or boy) who looks at other people’s relationships and decides that you “need” to be in a relationship, then you should probably think again. You haven’t put in any work into the idea of yourself. You’re only putting the idea of the work into the other person, but the other person can’t come unless you know in your heart what you want, what you like and who you are.

Why are people so obsessed with finding someone who showers them with expensive gifts and exotic trips? Don’t get me wrong; these things are nice, but they probably make up 2 percent of the actual relationship. I mean, as cool as Alvarrez and Ren made skydiving and surfing look in their video, do you actually like those things? Would you actually do them? Or do you just like the idea of doing those things with someone else? They shouldn’t be the basis of your relationship. These things are not actually goals. In general, relationship goals shouldn’t revolve around material things. There’s no point in making your relationship look amazing on social media if your relationship is short of amazing in real life.

There is no “perfect” relationship because everyone is completely different. Everyone has their own ideas of what he/she want out of a relationship and I think it’s important to stick to your morals and what you believe in. Be with someone who is supportive of you yet challenges you to be a better person. Be with someone who deserves your time and shares special moments with you without having to put them on Instagram. Most importantly, someone else’s boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t your fit because you are made for someone who has the same or similar dreams as you.

Remember that you don’t need to have anyone in your life, you want to have them in your life. There’s a huge difference between the two. You should be complete as your own person. Forget what you were told about relationships in the past because no two relationships are the same. Don’t jump to conclusions about other people’s relationships no matter what you see on social media. Focus on yourself and what you are doing with your life. Nothing else should matter. Sometimes you may feel like there is no hope of finding the right person, but it is better to wait longer for something real than to have a relationship that only looks good in the pictures.