I wanted to write this so you know just how much you mean to me. You know I’m bad at communicating at times and this is one of the things I never got to truly tell you. So here I go…
First of all, when we became friends I was in a horrible place. Alone, no confidence, and nowhere left to turn. You thought I was carefree and happy and I could've kept up that image, but without letting my wall down I wouldn’t be where I am today. You welcomed me into your life with open arms and let me in to who you really are. Of course there was a mutual hesitation, but we opened up and became so close in under a week. We spent countless nights together either talking about what was going on in our head which usually lead to tears being shed, and other nights trying to calm eachother down from a fight. Regardless of the discussion, I knew I had you by my side no matter what.
Of course things weren’t always so great. We got into fights about the silliest things, and overcame many hardships together. When things were good between us, there was no stopping us. The world was at our fingertips and we could conquer anything that life threw at us because we fell in love. And not the type of love where it’s scary and new, but the type of love that was beautiful and made us truly happy about anything and everything. On the other hand, when things were bad between us, we could go hours and sometimes days without contact. But when it was all said and done there would be endless apologies that all seemed to end with “I love you”.
Now, life isn’t that simple. Maybe it was the fact that we are 278 miles away, or maybe because the heart always doesn’t grow stronger with space, or maybe just because there is someone better. Regardless, the heartbreak never really ends. Seeing you happy is all I have ever wanted, but seeing you happy while you’re looking at someone else makes my stomach twist and everything seem wrong. Yea, I guess it’s for the best for both of us to stay best friends, but I’ll never really think of you differently. You taught me confidence, not only in myself but in everything I can and will do. You taught me that there’s a world out there waiting to be explored and it’s mine for the taking. You taught me to never doubt myself, that I’m stronger and better than I perceive myself as. You taught me that I can be loved, and that the only thing stopping me is myself.
Most importantly, you showed me happiness. The true, real deal, from the soul happiness. See how I view it now is that happiness is not something that is given. It is earned through love and loss and good and bad days. We have to learn from the things that made us the weakest and be smart enough not to let them fall into our laps again. We get to decide our future- and I can’t wait to see what life throws at us. I know I have you by my side through anything and your friendship to me means more than words could ever explain.
Thank you for being there for me in my darkest days, as well as my brightest. Thank you for teaching me the things I don’t think anyone else ever could. But most importantly thank you for needing me and understanding that sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. You are my best friend no matter what and I am endlessly grateful that I have you in my life, hopefully for what is a lifetime. I would do anything for you and I can only hope you know that.
Love,
Your Best Friend.
