Dear Body,

I’m writing this today as a thank you note as well as an apology. We’ve spent 18 years together and hopefully we have many more, so I figure now would be a good time to start appreciating you.

I would first like to thank you for all you’ve done for me over the years. The 39 miles we walked together last spring for breast cancer, the countless laps we’ve swam in the pool and the miles we’ve run on the treadmill. The dance classes we've struggled through, the games we've played and the hugs we have given. You’ve been strong- stronger than I’ve given you credit for. Thank you for accepting the ridiculous outfits I’ve put on you over the years and the less than savory foods I’ve shoved down your throat. Thank you for the places you’ve allowed me to walk and the places we’ll go together in the future. Thank you for not breaking all the times I've fallen, and for giving others a hand to hold when they've needed it. You've done everything I've ever asked and more.

Now I should apologize. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve looked at you and hated what I saw. I’m sorry I called you fat and ugly and compared you to everyone I would never be. I’m sorry for the self deprecation and hatred I’ve placed on you when it was really nobody to blame but society. I’m sorry I’ve tried to force you into a mold of supermodels and athletes when you’ll never be taller than 5’3″ or able to make a good jump shot. I’m sorry I ever listened to anyone that said you weren’t good enough or less than perfect- even myself. I'm sorry that even as I'm writing this, I still cannot entirely commit myself to the idea of your perfection. You deserve more than that.

I guess I’ve come to a point in my life where I realized no good can come from hating the shell I live in. Sure, you might not have the flattest stomach or the biggest boobs but you’ve done so many incredible things for me that it would be unfair to continue treating you as anything less than special. One day, maybe I will be able to say that I really and truly accept you for who you are, but today at least I can promise that I've come one step closer to that. You’ve worked hard and haven’t failed me yet, so I realize now that there truly is no reason for me to hate you. It’s okay that you can’t touch your toes. Or do a cartwheel. Or have a size 0 waist. Because there is so much that you can do. The size of your arms should never mean more to me than the things that we have accomplished together.

So thank you.

Love always,

Merrell