I’ll be honest.

I (sort of?) knew what I was doing when I chose my college. It had — and still has — what I wanted and what I felt I needed for my academic success. But at the same time, I’m not going to pretend like the environment here doesn’t wear on me at times, or that I don’t feel (just a little!) jealous watching all of these HBCU homecoming events go down (I’m really jealous y’all, I really am).

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like had I chosen to go to an HBCU — I wonder how I’d be different, and how college life would be different too.

I’ve had fun here. But I’ve also been subject to a lot of things that are typically associated with attending a PWI — microaggressions for days, for months, for years — and plenty of other unsavory things.

And while I knew what I was signing up for, it gets tiring sometimes. I get tired sometimes - tired of fielding unnecessary questions about my hair or my style or my blackness. I get tired of reminding folks that people of color exist, that we matter. I get tired of the little things.

One of the most therapeutic ways to counter that feeling (at least for me) is through music. So I figured I’d share some of the albums that keep me focused and remind me to always be proud of myself and my culture.

(FYI - these aren't in order of importance or anything. It's just a list, y'all.)

1. A Seat at the Table - Solange

A Seat at the Table is maybe the most relevant album on this list. It dropped at this time last year, and managed to be so many things at once: a source of relaxation, of solidarity and a celebration of blackness. This wasn’t just the Solange album we’d all been thirsting for — it was an expression of pride.

2. Big Fish Theory - Vince Staples

If you’ve seen the newest Black Panther trailer (I’m SO excited) then you’ve heard some material from this album. But the entire thing is definitely worth a listen. Vince Staples is energetic and bold, and the feeling this album brings is infectious.

3. Black on Both Sides - Mos Def

Ok, so I was definitely like three years old when this album came out. But regardless of its age, Mos Def’s Black on Both Sides is both a source of nostalgia (for me, at least) but also provides a lot of commentary on world & at-home issues. It may be the oldest album on this list, but the message is still current.

4. At What Cost - Goldlink

Ok, so maybe this album doesn’t have many overt references to black empowerment. But it still belongs on this list because it’s just so good. It dips and dabbles in so many different cultural styles and references — it’s stuffed with black culture. Also, it’s just a really cool album, ok?

5. The Chief - Jidenna

While this album is a bit less serious than the others on this list, it manages to blend fun music with reminders about self-respect and working toward your best. The Chief is, for the most part, an album you can get hype to, but there’s also a lot of intelligent, culturally relevant material.

This is barely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to music that makes me feel better, but I figured I'd try and collect a small few. I hope these albums can help those reading in the same way that they continue to help me.