So the Powerball drawing was Saturday night and I am going to go out on limb on this, you didn’t win. I know, shocking. But were you really expecting to win? I mean over $277 million worth of tickets were sold on Friday. Seriously, $277 million worth of the tickets. You have literally no chance of winning. Like zero chance.

But if you did win, what would you buy?

If you are a guy, would you buy Nina Adgal? If you are a girl would you buy Justin Bieber? Well, buckle up and let's break down how I would go bankrupt.

Gulfstream G650

Listen, are you even rich unless you have a private plane? I don’t think so. A G650 is the best of the best and chances are if you own one, you are part of the one percent that the left loves to complain about. But there is a problem. There is a two-year waiting list. I cannot wait two years. As a result, I will have to buy this used (ugh) G650 for $65 million. I know, buying a used plane, such poor-person status.

Playboy Mansion

It couldn’t have come at a better time, but the Playboy Mansion is for sale. Yes, Hugh is selling his palace of sex and debauchery. Do I really need to explain why I would buy the Playboy Mansion? Sorry Hales, I love you, but if I can wear a bathrobe all day, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Wally 118

Yes it has a silly name, but the Wally 118 is the most badass yacht ever constructed. Seriously look at it. If Darth Vader had a yacht, this would be it. But there is a catch, it is $33 million. Not exactly cheap, but put it this way, when you dock it up to the harbor in Monaco, you will probably not see another one. For that alone, I need this in my life.

McLaren P1

If you have read my articles in the past, which you should have been, you know by now that I love cars. If I won $900 million, realistically I would buy every one of my dream cars, which really means, all of the cars. But for this list I am only going to include one car. The McLaren P1. There are only 375 P1’s in the world so I would have to buy one used. Oh well. The car has 903 horsepower and weighs as much as a pillow. And it’s a hybrid, like a Prius, so tree-huggers will approve and the car will save polar bears, job well done.

Morgan Freeman’s voice to narrate my life.

Who wouldn’t want this? Have you heard his voice? It is wonderful. I would use the Powerball Money and hire Freeman to narrate my life. How much better could it get. Fun fact, Freeman has played God more than anyone else in movies. So I would have a God-like voice to narrate my life. That sounds awesome.

So I have about $400 million left to blow. What else would I get? I am not sure what else, but my guess is it would include Alabama Football season tickets and access to an Air Force. Yes, that is actually what would I want, an Air Force. Is there anything better than ordering an air strike? Doubt it. I could be like Julius Cesar.

Now, where is my servant with my grapes?