Sometimes we meet incredibly interesting people in our lives, and I must say that Akshay Krishnamani is one of those people in my life. Krishnamani is a 22-year-old graduate of The Ohio State University. He majored in operations management and minored in global public health. Krishnamani has landed an amazing job at Lord and Taylor in New York City and is so excited to be moving there soon! I've known Krishnamani as a dance team captain and a friend outside of the team, and I've always found him to be so inspiring. He's one of the sweetest and most helpful people I've met in college so far and I'm glad to have his friendship! Krishnamani came out as gay before college, and I wanted to discover more about his story to see what it's like for a man with an Indian background to come out to society.
When and how did you realize you were gay?
I was pretty young when I thought something was different, like seven or eight. I didn't comprehend what it was until about seventh grade. I came out right after high school and, honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal and I only told people I was close to. It was really a gradual learning about my sexuality and the moment I really realized it was in my seventh-grade social studies class when my teacher was discussing LGBT. He mentioned how it was around that age (around 13 or 14) that we would realize if we were of a different sexuality.
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Who did you tell first?
I actually told my sister first. She was really relaxed about it, which helped. There was a moment of processing, but overall she was really casual.
What were your friends' reactions when you came out to them?
There was definitely some curiosity at first which I was welcome to, but they were just really happy that I was comfortable with accepting it.
Was there any judgment that you faced from the people you came out to?
Freshman year of college, I had a lot of internal fear about how people would react to my sexuality. No one honestly treated me differently, but I was in a place where I was learning to deal with it myself.
Overall, how has Indian culture played a role in your life?
It's played a pretty strong role. I really tried to make sure I understood it and didn't force anything on myself. Whether it was South Carolina or Malaysia, I've always had a good amount of Indians around me while growing up. Even though I understand my culture, I've never been as involved in my culture like some Indian people my age have been.
Growing up with Indian culture, did the whole process of coming out seem more difficult?
It wasn't more difficult because of the Indian community because like I said, I wasn't too involved. Obviously, there are some very conservative parts of Indian culture, but overall I have found it to be very accepting. I feel like that is something very misunderstood about our culture. My South Asian friends were actually very accepting of me coming out and were always supportive since day one.
How do you react when you see people using statements such as, "That's so gay," or words like, "faggot?"
I'm not too easily offended by it because there are bigger things to worry about in the world. I definitely hate the word, "faggot," but I always try to correct people when they use it. If we pay so much attention to the word or phrases like that, then we give power to those words and phrases. If we ignore it, we take the power out of it.
Recently we all know about the shooting at the LGBT nightclub in Orlando. How did you react to the news?
Complete shock. What do you say when the deadliest attack in modern U.S. history happens to your own community? It was disheartening, frustrating, and terrifying.
What would you say to the shooter?
I don't know how I would speak to someone who has such hate for a group of people that have done nothing but try and spread love and acceptance throughout this world. I don't know if I would waste my breath on someone so hateful. I would rather ask how he was able to come into possession of the weapons he had given his history.
Did you feel a lessened sense of security or vulnerability?
I absolutely feel a lessened sense of security and a heightened sense of vulnerability. This individual came into a sanctuary for the LGBTQ community and took away every aspect of security and safety for gay bars/clubs across the country. I read a quote the other day, "If you can't wrap your head around a bar or club as a sanctuary, you've probably never been afraid to hold someone's hand in public." When we go to LGBTQ friendly bars, it becomes a safe haven for us, but he took the safety net away from all of us.
Akshay wanted to say some more things about the shooting.
The massacre in Orlando was fatal for many, but it hurt every member of the LGBTQ community. The United States has for far too long turned a blind eye when it comes to the continued vicious attacks in our community, and now 50 people never got to go home.
The fact that I, nor any other LGBTQ men, cannot donate blood to my brothers and sisters who desperately need it enrages me. I can't help my own community because of antiquated laws, and a system that isn't made to protect our lives.
With the cost we pay for our pride and the lives that are continuously taken across the country by those who are filled with hatred, I get so angry. But everyone can be sure of one thing: my community doesn't ,and will not, fight hate with hate. I don't know where we go from here, but I know that I will never forget what happened to those 50 people and neither will anyone in our community. We are a resilient group of people and even though we may feel defeated right now, love will win.
What message do you have about homosexuality acceptance to future generations?
South Asian or not, we're not any different from anyone else. I've been treated the same and it's not something that stands out for me. It's one part of someone's life and it's not a reason to treat someone differently.
