Many people have a love-hate relationship with air travel, and it's mainly because all the wrong things seem to happen to you. Your bags get misplaced, you get stuck sitting next to someone you don't like, they aren't serving your favorite soda -- the list goes on and on.
But, what takes place before and after your flight is the key to a more enjoyable and happy experience. Here is some proper airline etiquette to help you out on your next journey.
How to properly board
There is a right way and a wrong way to board an airplane. For instance, the right way is to have your ticket out and ready to go and your bags and carry-on items all close together for easy entrance. The wrong way is not having your ticket out (possibly it is in your pocket or you even threw it away) and having all of your bags flinging all over the place smacking into people. Which leads into this...
Crowding to be the first to board
This isn't a track race, and being the first to board doesn't get you a medal. Are you really in that big of a rush to go sit on an airplane? The seats aren't memory foam. They aren't that special. Let's get back to elementary school basics: single file line, orderly fashion and just waiting your turn.
Backpacks
Don't be the person that has their backpack on and hitting people when they turn. You are also the same person that wheels their bag into other people or even other objects. Keep it more secure and mind your surroundings.
Not leaving enough space and running into the person in front of you
Why do you have to be two feet next to me when boarding? Are you trying to smell my cologne? Are you trying to make me uncomfortable? Because if so, you are succeeding and doing a marvelous job of it. I'm not your significant other; back up and give me room.
Respect for the middle seat
Look, we all like to have our own personal space, so if there is only two of us in our row, don't sit in the middle. You are performing encroachment upon me; that is a five-yard penalty, move over to that window seat.
Reclining seat all the way back
This isn't a La-Z-Boy, those seats aren't that comfortable. Respect the person behind you. If not, I may throw some peanuts in your mouth to get your attention.
Foot odors
Being trapped in an airplane for an hour isn't that bad. Being trapped in an airplane for an hour with someone who has their shoes off and has foot odor is bad. This person normally has holes in the bottom of their socks, they are more than likely worn down so much there is little to no fabric on them, and they look like they were in a war zone. Some people should bring a small Febreze sprayer with them because those babies reek.
Snoring
Why? If you know you snore, don't sleep on an airplane. For instance, I sleep talk when I sleep. I say some random things when I sleep. The last thing I want is for you to judge me while I'm sleeping as I mutter something like "Harsh Adams" or sometimes I even laugh in my sleep. That would be awkward on an airplane, someone laughing in their sleep; that doesn't raise any red flags.
Farting
Seriously?
Bathroom etiquette
Know your limit, watch what you eat. Example; eating Chipotle before your flight would not be the smartest thing to do. Courtesy flushes are welcomed.
Talking loudly
Why is it that no one can talk quietly on airplanes? It seems that once you get on an airplane people lose all human-norm functions.
"YEAH, NO, THE FUNGUS WENT AWAY. YEAH, IT IS ALL GONE. I'M FUNGUS FREE, MAN."
I don't think there is a socially accepted situation that encourages talking about you having some sort of fungus. Congrats on getting rid of it, I'm sure your wife must be very happy.
Hitting the seat in front of you
You know who you are. You are the person who hits the seat in front of you at the movie theater, the one who has their leg shaking a million miles per minute while sitting down, maybe you are even the one who crosses their leg with one foot by one foot of space.
Clothing
There are certain guidelines about clothing on airplanes. For instance, men shouldn't wear shorts that ride up. Everything gets scrunched up and it just looks bad, very bad. Wear clothing that is appropriate and not too revealing. If you can't wear it to church/your workplace, you probably shouldn't wear it on an airplane.
Let's all follow these simple, yet effective guidelines. Ask not what other passengers can do for you, ask what you can do for your fellow passengers. If not, then I'm writing an article about you.
