In April, my boyfriend left for Air Force Basic Military Training.
I’m currently a student. I got a second job while he was away. It’s not like I had nothing to do, I had plenty on my plate. But he was -- is -- my best friend. Having to communicate with your other half via snail mail is infuriating. But I did learn a couple of things about myself which is a plus side to the months spent as a barely functioning human.
- It’s okay to cry. A lot. I promise. I didn’t go to any classes the day he left, despite him still being able to talk to me on his way to MEPS since he didn’t officially go to bootcamp that same day. I needed the ability to cry. It’s gonna happen a lot. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re pitiful or unstable. It’s more so a realization that everything you’re used to is changing.
- Having a loved one in the military is a time where it’s 110% okay to be glued to your phone. I would rarely go into the other room without my phone on me. Having a mere ten minute phone call was the light of my life while he was away at basic. It meant the world and more.
- He isn’t going to die. I was in several groups for my boyfriend’s flight. On the day where they entered the confidence chamber (aka gas chamber), people were freaking out. Albeit, the majority of the people that were in this group were mothers that were terrified of their little baby having to inhale and say a reporting statement while in a gas chamber. They were all fine. And their sinuses were fantastic afterward. You can worry, but don’t worry too much.
- You’re not going to die. It might feel like it. It might feel like the end of the world. But you’ll be fine. They’re home sick and you’re home sick for them. Don’t worry yourself to death over basic training. In fact, the day my boyfriend left, I talked to his mom. I wasn’t worried about my boyfriend at all. He knew what he was getting into and he was excited about it. I was worried about me. It sounds selfish, but aforementioned, he is my best friend. My other half. Usually no more than quarter-mile away at any given time. And suddenly, boom. Over one thousand miles away. It absolutely sucks. When he left, I knew it was going to be difficult. But I didn’t know just how hard it would be.
- Don’t take people for granted. Ever. I refused to let a single moment go to waste because I knew that he was leaving. And I would’ve been damned if I didn’t make the most out of every solitary moment I could spend with him. Have fun at the grocery store. Push each other around in carts. Go roller skating. Work out together. Do not take time with anyone for granted. Especially if you know they will soon be isolated from the outside world for two months.
- The Postal Service is important. I don’t think anyone really sends mail as a way to communicate anymore. It’s perhaps used as a nice way to say “thank you” or to send a birthday wish, but you don’t usually have full conversations via mail anymore. You will now. Well, you’ll be the one doing most of the talking. Yeah, the mail isn’t super fast. It took about a week to a week and a half for me to receive his letters and him mine. However, a single quickly written letter stuffed in an envelope was really all I needed to feel more human again, even if just for a second. Thank your mail carrier -- they’re how you’ll stay sane.
- Because of how much one has to write letters, you will become a master writer. Well, kind of. I got really good at conveying my utter grief. I used my letters as a journal as well. I wanted to keep him up to date on everything. It’s not like they can see your statuses or you can shoot them a quick message to explain a situation. You can’t catch them up at dinner. One learns to be much better with words when writing every day. Which, I did. I didn’t mail something every day, though. Of course, didn’t send anything on Sundays or holidays. Otherwise, I only missed a couple days. Otherwise, I sent something every day. Communication is more important in this kind of setting than ever before. Your writing and communication skills will improve, but only if you make the effort to actually write and include them in your day-to-day events to begin with.
- Distance sucks. Lack of communication sucks. In my situation, every moment I wasn’t working, in school, or sleeping was spent with my boyfriend. We were pretty much glued at the hip. I was merely existing while he was away -- not living. However, I knew that when we got through the two horrid months, we’d be stronger than ever. As usual, I was right. It sucks but it really does show the bond necessary to be able to be away from someone when you’re so dependent on them (in my case, specifically). It makes not only your relationship stronger, but you as an individual stronger as well.
