To the girl who needs this,

You may have spent months or even years with the person whom you thought you could trust. But, after a while, you’ve had enough of the unread messages, unanswered phone calls, the episodes of playing the “motherly” figure to try to help them off the edge of doing something stupid or the dreaded anxiety of not knowing what they’re up to and not being able to fully trust in them.

Finally, you grew a backbone, and told them, “you’ve had enough.” Then, you did the best thing you could do for yourself; you walked away.

After this comes the rollercoaster of emotions. But I will tell you this: DO NOT ever have any doubts as to whether walking away was the right thing to do. Trust me, over time you will find out that you are much better off single than with the person you were in a toxic relationship with.

Of course, it’s not easy, and it hurts like ripping a band-aid off of a fresh wound. And, of course, you will cry enough tears to end a drought, but you will find faith and strength inside yourself that you never even knew existed.

And after all the crying while watching sappy love movies and eating ice cream, which I’m hoping you won’t do because you are so much better than that, you will discover the perks of being single.

First off, being single gives you the ability to do things for yourself... shocking, right? It also has no hidden strings attached and gives you the ability to discover what you want for yourself, who you really are and the things you want in, maybe someday, another significant other.

And then, of course, just as you’ve jumped into the rhythm of being alone, someone comes out of nowhere and begins to steal your heart. In the beginning, especially with being a new relationship, you fear that the same thing will happen as last time, the wonderful honeymoon phase, which then turns into a spiraling fallout.

Even though this is very overwhelming, you need to realize that this is a different person and a different relationship. Take the things that you learned from when you were single and use it to your advantage. This will help calm some of the fear that will come with a new relationship.

You will realize that in this new phase of your life that you’re not going to put up with any B.S. and that you are more cautious when it comes down to opening your heart to someone.

There will be some things that are “off-limits” to this new person due to avoiding the past, but you will learn eventually to live a little and to create new memories with the things that come up from your past relationship.

Though it may take a little longer to fall “in love,” you will find that your heart molds into a new person you never realized you were. You will find that using your newfound strength, worth and resilience will help you grow and evolve for this new love interest in your life.

Lastly, you may feel lost, and a bit rough around the edges, but eventually, you will decide to fully dive into the world of dating. It may be scary at first from the fears of not knowing how long this “relationship” will last to the rebuilding of the trust in someone you dearly care about, and that you may even, you don’t know...love.

Just know that no matter what happens, no love is ever the same. And if you are a person who loves as deeply as I do, you will assure yourself that you won’t let that ability go to waste in someone who’s not worth your time.

I promise you that when you love again, which you will, you will love bigger and more than you ever have before.

Love,

The Girl Who Bounced Back