I am sure that many of you have heard the famous Carrie Underwood song, “Before He Cheats.” This song shows the rage of a betrayed lover and how she basically destroys his most prized possession -- his truck. While many people may think that this song is a bit overdramatic and that cheating is not that devastating, they are wrong. Unless you have been wronged by a lover, you will never know what happens whenever a loved one commits the ultimate betrayal of cheating. There are five stages that all distraught lovers go through after finding out their companions have been unfaithful.
1. "Big Girls (DO) Cry"
2. "This Ain't Your Momma’s Broken Heart"
3. "Bad Blood"
4. "Wasn’t Me"
5. "Give it to Me, I’m Worth It"
The first of these stages is the unavoidable tears and, yes, even guys go through this stage. You’ve been hurt and blindsided by someone whom you thought you could trust, and crying your eyes out is the only thing you can do to console the unbearable pain you are feeling. After a few days of red puffy eyes and a hundred boxes of Kleenex, you prepare to move onto the next stage, the song stage.
You search every possible song on YouTube that deals with broken love and commit these lyrics to memory. You find yourself listening to corny songs about how your baby left you and how he took the dog too and other pathetic country love songs. Yet, all of this makes it relatable, and you think you may have a new one hit wonder on your hands after belting out some of your lines.
As soon as you begin to gain back some self-worth, you find yourself in stage number three, anger. You may just take Carrie Underwood’s advice and go slash some tires. Nothing seems too outrageous. All you feel is your blood boiling, and you are seething with fresh, raw anger. This stage normally lasts the shortest amount of time before you realize you need to calm down before irrational tire slashing does occur.
This is why you quickly turn to stage four, questioning "Why me?" This is the stage where you wonder why you weren’t good enough and think that maybe your lover cheated because of something you have done. Wrong; do not think these things for a second and get out of this stage ASAP. You are the scorned lover, and you should never, not for one second, think that you were the cause of your significant other’s infidelity.
The final stage is the hardest to reach but offers a sense of peace to all who have been hurt. This is the stage of realizing one day this won’t hurt you. Oh, sure, it might hurt for days -- even months -- maybe even years if the betrayal was beyond awful, but one day you will get over it. One day you will look back and realize how strong you were and how you progressed through all the steps to get where you are today. You will gain back your self-worth and realize how important you are to those in your life who love you. And by keeping in mind that you have God who puts you through the suffering to lead you to greater joys, by surrounding yourself with faith, family and friends, when you are ready, your broken heart will heal.
Yes, cheating can be devastating, and you may feel that you aren’t worth anything to anyone. Just know that you can and will get through it. It may take some time going through all these steps, but by the end of the process, you will realize you are worth it and that you have people who love you. Instead of taking Carrie Underwood’s advice, look to Adele’s latest hit, and tell him to send your love to his new lover in hopes that he’ll treat her better. Move on with a fresh start. Be Miss Moving On.
