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A Friendship Put On Pause

You may not be pushing me away, but you aren't fighting to keep me, either.

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A Friendship Put On Pause
Marissa Miller

Best friends who are also family are so special to have in one's lifetime. It's a great feeling when someone so close and dear to your heart is accepted by your family as you are in theirs. Your mom becomes their mom and you practically live at each others' houses because going a day without them by your side is something you couldn't imagine experiencing. It's scary to think of being without each other and taking on the world all alone without their multiple laughs, idiotic humor, and comforting advice.

Losing a best friend is a pain I couldn't begin to describe. It's like dying inside a little bit every day but your heart continues beating but it feels as if it's withering. A darkness takes over your mind, making you constantly question what went wrong but not knowing how to fix it. You're stuck in a thick, heaping fog of despair that never clears up. Laughter is replaced with a quiet cry at night because the loneliness sets in. Mornings are hard to conquer, but you're forced to continue on your day normally.

Normal is no longer present in my vocabulary since the incident. I'm emotionally unstable because one minute I'm happy, but stop and ask myself, "How could you possibly be happy without your other half?" I'm miles away from slightly feeling any type of happiness, but as long as I pretend to be okay, I'll forget I was ever sad.

From sun up to sun down, there isn't a day that ends without me thinking about you. Especially when I'm experiencing new things, because without you they are just not the same. Not only am I sad that you are unable to see my accomplishments, I am also kept from experiencing yours with you. I have missed your first homecoming, prom, and I will most likely miss your graduation because distance keeps these moments from happening.

Our friendship was meant to last forever, but we are taking a brief pause and continuing onto different paths that will soon bring us back together. I strongly believe that you are irreplaceable because I have never felt a friendship so bound by love since we went our separate ways. I can't contain my excitement to be reunited with you once again to pick up from where we left off, which was thinking about our future as best friends.

You'll will still be my maid of honor, my children's godmother and my little sibling. We will always be with each other from cradle to grave because God wouldn't let us live our lives without half of our hearts. However, you are my whole heart and world, and I promise this is not where it ends.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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