It’s scary. It’s scary to think that some students, fresh out of high school, go so far from home to live on this campus, attend classes and possibly work several jobs. You have lived all of your life in this same area, have had the same friends and everything in this location has always been familiar to you. Why would you want to start over when you’re comfortable? But, there’s a piece of advice that everyone should carry with them always—being comfortable doesn’t always mean you’re happy. We get so caught up with everything that we’ve always had and forget there is so much more to life than we even realize.
Once upon a time, I was there too. I decided that leaving Florida and heading to Massachusetts was my next path when I had graduated. The summer following my graduation, I was so nervous. What am I to expect? I had never even been to Massachusetts before. What if I’m lonely? What if I invest so much energy and time and it doesn’t work out? All the what if’s I could possibly imagine raced through my mind morning and night. Then came the day to make the move. My mother had come with me to help me settle in, and was completely supportive despite the fact her youngest daughter was flying very far from the nest. The day before she was leaving me all by myself in MA, we went to Outback for dinner with her.
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After the waiter walked away, I began to bawl my eyes out. I was crying like a newborn baby, out of nowhere. My mom, completely caught off guard, asked me what was wrong. I told her I couldn’t do it. I’m not this strong, and I can’t be on my own. I can’t be the independent person I thought I could be. She quickly changed moods, from sincere to strict, and strained her eyes at me. She told me if I really wanted to come home, I could. However, she warned me that I will always wonder what would’ve been if I don’t keep going. What if I love it? What if it changes me into the person I want to be? All the what if’s rolled back into my mind, but this time a more positive. I wiped my tears and told my mom I’m not a quitter.
I’m beyond thankful that my mom let me come to MA and that I didn’t give up that day in Outback. I am nowhere near the same person I was when I graduated high school. I care about what I do, I look after myself and I am the woman I always dreamt I could be. I’ve been here for two years now, and I wouldn’t trade a single memory for a single penny. Was it hard? Of course, nothing worth having comes easy. I cried so much missing my family. Gave up so many times when things didn’t go how I had planned. But, all that mattered were the times I wiped my tears and the times that I didn’t give in when I gave up. I wouldn’t be successful now if I didn’t build my thick skin. Going out of state for college is such a thrilling experience filled with friendships, adventures and opportunities.
You have to rip the Band-Aid off early when it comes to leaving the nest. The longer you stay, the harder it will be later. You will make friends if you leave your room and go to events. You will make friends if you say hello to everyone you meet. Don’t be afraid of leaving your friends back home, because distance will prove how much they’re willing to keep you in their life. Being independent, you live the life you want. You run on your own agenda, and it’s perfect because while you’re in college, you’re finding yourself. You will run into heartbreak, you will have fake friends, and you will feel the occasional pressure from procrastination on that paper you said you wouldn’t wait until the night before to do, but you do anyway. Be proactive, not reactive and don’t think about what you’ll be leaving behind, but all of the new paths you’ll have in front of you. Worcester State University is my second home.
The thought of leaving the nest will make knots in your stomach, and leave you restless at first. I won’t lie. If you never take the chance to be on your own, you’ll always wonder what it would’ve been like and where you’d be now. I’ve had the greatest opportunities since studying out of state, and my parents don’t forget to remind of what a difference in the woman I have become since I came to college. I’m beyond grateful I never quit, and I don’t want anyone to ever say they missed their chance because they were scared—anyone can do anything they want to do.
You want to do it? Do it. You don’t want to do it? Don’t do it. Eddie Harris Jr. shared some wisdom for those who are hesitant; always keep this in mind— “the sooner you step away from your comfort zone; the sooner you’ll realize that it really wasn’t all that comfortable.” That, my friends, is the motivation to do anything you want to do. Study abroad, go to college out of state and enjoy the spare time you have with friends because that is what college was meant for—exploring what you’re capable of.
