Valentine's Day is still a couple weeks away, and I can already hear people groaning and rolling their eyes out loud. While I'm not super stoked about not having a lovely S.O. that I can spend time with this Valentine's Day, I'm still excited for the box of chocolates I get to treat myself to! But seriously, while I may not have someone to watch rom-coms and get gifts for each other with, it doesn't take away from the good times that can be had with friends and family. I didn't always enjoy this special day of heart-shaped balloons and pink teddy bears saying "I love you" on them, and there were a few times where I really needed some reassurance and pick-me-ups. So, for those who are a little down in the dumps on probably what feels like a pretty crappy day, no worries because here are seven reassurances for anyone who's single on Valentine's Day.
1. There is only one of you, and no one else can fill in your place as perfectly as you do.
My lovely reader, don't think that you don't have a valentine because you are not pretty enough, good looking enough, skinny enough, tall enough, short enough, funny enough, or anything similar. You will forever be enough; you are enough in every single aspect of yourself even if you think your flaws outweigh your perfections. There is only one of you, and no one else can fill in your place as perfectly as you do. Don't think you are any less beautiful, amazing, or wonderful than anyone else because your worth is endless.
2. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so be the beholder.
You are the one who spends the most time with yourself - 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Think about how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, and now think about how you would treat or talk to someone you love and care about deeply. Do you treat or talk to that person the same way you do to yourself? Like I said, you spend every single day with yourself, learn how to give your energy to yourself before you give it to others.
3. Rain and sunshine are both needed for great things to grow.
Maybe you're experiencing heartbreak this Valentine's Day, and if you are, I am so sorry you're hurting. Maybe your partner broke up with you or you're going through a friend break-up, which can hurt just as much. Maybe you just lost a loved one very recently. Regardless of who they were or how long they were in your life, they've still taught you lessons and sometimes those lessons can be painful, but they're needed. They're needed in order to grow in life, and sometimes, they make you grow into the person you're becoming. Know that there will be better days and there are such things as new beginnings. You may not be looking at the world through rose tinted glasses at the moment, but it won't stay cold and grey forever.
4. The right person will oftentimes come into your life when you need them and when you least expect it.
Just because you don't have a boo this year doesn't mean you're going to stay single for the rest of your life. I know that probably sounds a tad dramatic, but as a college student who isn't on the dating scene much right now, I've heard my fair share of "why he won't love me" from friends. The right person will oftentimes come into your life when you need them and when we least expect it. And trust me, you are too good to settle for just anyone, so don't. I can't tell you when or where you'll find "the one," but while you're still on that journey, don't lose yourself to meet someone else's needs or wants.
5. Treat yourself and complete yourself.
You might be taking today to find ways you can love yourself, and honestly, I'm kind of in the same boat! While we've welcomed the new year, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still mentally tired from trying to adjust to a new way of doing classes and keeping up with my school work. And that's why instead of asking myself when I'll get a boyfriend, I'm going to do some of these things to take care of myself (and feel free to do these too). I plan to spend time writing, set up a lunch date with one of my friends, treat myself to a manicure, and just sit back and watch my favorite movie. I mean, it's Valentine's Day, so of course I'm going to treat myself, and you should, too!
6. Remember who you are; don’t try to be someone you’re not.
This is probably a really simple and cheesy thing to keep in mind, but sometimes we need the reminder (as if I haven't reminded you that your worth is PRICELESS already). Like I said before, don't lose yourself just to fit someone else's idea of what you should be. You're not meant to be put in a mold and meet everyone's needs just because you like them. You, I, and everyone else is not meant to do that; we are all meant to have our own personalities. And if our personalities repel certain people, then so be it. Yes, every relationship takes a bit of work, but you shouldn't be second guessing yourself and walking on eggshells for them - that is not your job.
7. Other people’s lives are not your reality.
Your life is not the same as everyone else's in the same way that no one else's life is the same as yours. When I say this, I hope you take a minute to let it sink in and remind yourself of this. Don't compare your love life, or your life in general, to another person's love life because the truth is that no couple is the same. I know, that's another pretty obvious point to make, but again, it's just a reminder! Don't think that just because you're in college or even several years into your career that you have to find your S.O. right now.