For some, the end of long days and warm nights by the lake is upsetting. For others, excitement and adrenaline floods their veins. However, these two different types of people aren't all that different at all. They both are equally unnerved by the upcoming event that parades itself high and mighty each year in August. Parents rejoice, kids groan, and college students prepare for yet another merciless year of Quizlet, Google, and Starbucks. Yet, there’s one group of students I don’t feel are exactly prepared for what is going to be thrown at them. Freshman. I know, there have been tons of papers and books about “How to Survive your First Year” and “Do’s and Don’ts of College,” but if you were as nervous and overwhelmed as I was you’ve most likely read them all. And from a personal experience I can tell you they don’t help! At least not for the specifics. So as I claim my rightly place as a sophomore this fall, I’d like to give back a few sediments that will surely be passed down for generations—or at least on Twitter under #freshmanadvice.
Here's how to slay your freshman year.
Pencils, Paper, and Books
College is different than high school. That’s a given, but what most high school teachers fail to mention about professors is that they are genuine assholes determined to make your life as hard as it possibly can be. So my advice: One up them every chance you get.
Most will expect you to have books the second day at least and have read what they assigned in full in preparation for the pop quiz on the third day. So be sure to read black board at least a week before classes start to figure out which books you need and what lessons are upcoming.
Food
In college, you will literally eat any chance you get. Everywhere you walk there will be food and it’s hard to resist. So my advice: plan out a meal schedule. Set appropriate times to eat that aren’t in class or right before bed. As much of a pain
it is to get up between 7 and 9 a.m. for breakfast, plan to at least three days a week. This will help keep your energy high, your mind focus, and limit the amount of weight gain almost every freshman inevitably gains (unless they play sports).
While We’re on the Subject: Freshman 15
it’s real. It’s merciless. And it recruits in numbers. So my advice: If you don’t want to deal with the parade of family members seeing you during Christmas break pointing out how fat you’ve gotten, avoid campus transportation. Yes, I know your class is across campus and you only have 20 minutes to get there, but I’m sure if you weren’t up all night eating that $5 box from Popeyes you would’ve gotten up on time and left on time. Since walking is your only form of exercise usually, utilize it. And whenever you feel the urge, go to the gym. I’m not trying to uncover your passion for bodybuilding, but the healthier you feel the better you succeed academically. Look it up. I’m sure someone scholarly said that at one point.
Parties
The main stigma about college is the freedom to party and live an outrageous life if you so choose. This is true. But here’s my advice: Stick with parties/events on your campus. I know how tempting and fun it sounds to go to other camps’ nearby and meet new people, but those people don’t know you. They can do anything to hurt you or mistreat you and all anyone is going to questions is: “Why were they there to begin with?” Another sentiment, know your limit. I’m pro-drinking completely. So I’d be a hypocrite to so don’t drink at all, but the last thing you want to be in that drunk loser who dives face first into the pavement. Remember this after every shot: “There will be more parties, there will be more drinks, but if I drink some more, will I be able to walk myself out the door?” If the answer is no, then you’re at your limit. If the answer is I don’t know, you’ve passed your limit and you should probably seek help from the nearest friend because you’re gone, bro!
Other Less Legal Activities
If you’re into smoking marijuana, sniffing coke, popping pills, that’s your decision. There’s not much advice I could give on that. Either you door you don’t, your choice, but if you do, here's tips to avoid getting caught.
Never smoke on campus. If you’re in your car, drive off. If you don’t have a car, walk off. But believe me, that fine for smoking in a non smoking zone will make you regret every blunt you’ve had your entire life. Avoid kickbacks thrown by people you don’t personally know. People you don’t know aren’t going to warn you to jump out the back when the heat comes swarming in. You’ll be happily round the “candy bowl” watching the flickers of red and blue like a dazed idiot as everyone else scatters. Don’t hotbox your car, because if you get pulled over on campus and they suspect you’re under the influence, they can fine you, arrest you, or flag your plate (less criminalizing but extremely annoying if you drive a lot).
Sex and Masturbation
You were probably waiting for this one. Sex is one of the most expected experiences of college. People just love smashing their privates into one another, but here’s some advice: Stay in your room or theirs. Don’t be in the school pool, public showers, or in class diddling each other. That’s nasty as hell and very obvious. Don’t use your roommate's bed. I don’t care how close you think you are, you aren’t ever so close to someone they’d be willing to sleep in your wet spot afterward. Do lay out ground rules as to when you need your private time to your roommate,whether that be solo or with a partner. Ask your partner if they’re comfortable with the situation too. But lastly, if you’re expecting a lot of different conquests to occur in your room, then make sure you request plenty of sheets to be gifted to you. A clean bed is an action-ready bed!
Relationships
Everyone wants one. They’re filled with so much hope and expectations, but before committing be sure you’re absolutely ready. You’re a freshman in college. On campus with plenty of other fish. The last thing you need on top of classes is a rage war because after two weeks you or your partner has found someone else so now you have to part ways. Forever is just a little bit shorter sometimes, and that’s OK. Take your time, explore, and then if you really want to commit.
Home
With everything that will be thrown your way, home will be a distant memory sometimes if you’re not living there or right around the corner from it. Calling parents will be last on the to-do lists, and going back on breaks won’t seem as much fun as going to Cabo with your friends. So my advice: Call once a week. Pick a day that you usually have 30 minutes to an hour free and call. Hearing their voice will soothe whatever anxiety you may have. They will understand you better than you ever thought you could because even though you’re grown and away from home you’ll always be their child. Reward them for all the years they put up with you by saying “Hey, I remember you. I appreciate you. and I can’t say thank you enough.” So just for a moment, they can feel like their baby is still their baby again.
Your freshman year will be the best year of your life. You will truly find yourself. You’ll figure out if college is for you, if your high school sweetheart is still a sweetheart, and if you have three tests, papers, and quiz due by midnight, could you cram in a 30 minute nap? These experience will follow you, just like they’ve followed me. So take my advice: Enjoy yourself. Live, learn, and be the best freshman you can be. If you so happen to fail, though, don’t worry. That’s why they invented summer school!
