My fifteen-year-old self was a smol ball of anxiety and energy. Weird mix but it worked for me. I thought I knew everything in life. Clearly, I didn’t since I still do not fully understand this weird thing called life. So without further ado here are fifteen things I would tell my fifteen-year-old self!

1. A few bad grades aren’t the end of the world

As most people know high school can suck. With my anxiety issues, I would constantly switch between the mentality of ‘I don’t care about school or this stupid project’ until the day its due then I would panic about getting a bad grade

2. Stop acting so tough and scary you get scared by your reflection sometimes!

I had the appearance of an emo kid and decided to go with that and act like I had no emotions unless I was with my friends of course. I acted like I could take anyone who talked crap about my friends yet I would (and still do) get spooked very easy.

3. Things get better

At this time I felt like life was a tad pointless and I felt very lost. Everyone said my ideas in life wouldn’t work out and I need college to be anything. At that time I hated school and hated the idea of going. Little did I know I would end up at UWM for the second semester of what would be my freshman year of college.

4. Mom will eventually give in to all your hair ideas… Or you do it without permission

I remember this time was the start of me adding unnatural colors to my hair. My mom was not happy with that but in the end, she supported me when I did it without permission. Although I think she said it looked good so I wouldn’t have a freakout of looking bad.

5. Do the dorky things that you are too scared to do.

One of the biggest things I would change is not doing the goofy things I thought of doing. My sophomore year I was still sort of the dork that I am today but I know I would have been way more happy if I started ‘a day in the life of a vine’ (videos I made with friends where I am being overly dramatic about a topic and just being a complete goof) my sophomore year instead of junior.

6. People will come and go. That’s okay!

At fifteen it can seem like the end of the world when you lose a friendship with someone. Now I understand that everyone comes into your life to teach you something and they will leave when that lesson is over. So cherish what you have while you have it and accept that when it ended it was time.

7. You and your sister will be close

Growing up my sister and I had two very different personalities. She cared about school and sports and I cared about rebelling and concerts. I always looked up to her and wanted to be like her but we clashed a lot because of our different ideologies. Now I go to the same college as her and we are closer than ever.

8. Do NOT listen to some of the teachers!

What I mean by this is we had some bad teachers. Like my English teacher in 10th grade. She HATED me with a passion and really sucked at teaching as is. We clashed on a lot of things in life and I got sent out of class more than once by her. Although I have to thank her and a few other asshole teachers.

Without her, I would not be writing this. She told me my writing sucked and I should give up. So in my families manner, I made spite be my motivator and wrote something new every day to get better and better.

9. You end up at college

This is a shocker to everyone including myself. I decided my freshman year college isn’t for me. Yet in the middle of what would have been my first semester here, I decided to apply and not tell anyone. Heck, some people still don’t actually know I’m at college. I only told my family and like four friends. All were shocked and still kinda shocked that I’m at college.

10. EXPLORE!

My backyard is wooded and now I love going exploring in them when it’s nice out. There’s also a state park in my town. I wish I would have taken advantage of both of these things more when I was growing up because they are two of my favorite places to go.

11. Hang out more with your friends!

I really wish I did this more. At the time I had really bad trust issues and decided it was best not to get close to anyone. I’m just happy my friends at this time were stubborn and didn’t give up on me, even when I was probably super frustrating to be around. To this day I am still friends with that group, I just wish I took the chance I was given to spend more time with them since now it can be difficult to make plans.

12. Your parents are here to help you.

I was like most teenagers and didn't really talk to my parents that much. I felt like it was myself against the world and that they wouldn't understand what I was feeling or thinking. Even though they may not have fully understood what I was going through they tried their best to help me and I am forever grateful for that. Love you, mom and dad!

13. Try out for choir solos.

I joined my high school choir is 10th grade but I never tried for a solo till 12th out of shyness. I got the solo I wanted and I just wish I would have been more confident in that class from the start.

14. You can be girly.

I have always had the more punk style and so I figured if I wore more “girly” clothes people would judge me for it. Now I don’t care, I can go from a corset and leather jacket to the next day where a pastel pink dress with my hair curled. Styles are allowed to change and I say wear whatever makes you happy that day.

15. Love who you are.

You are perfect just the way you are. A lot of the time I lost sight of that fact and struggled to like how I was, that can still sometimes be an issue but now I’ve learned to love myself and how I am. People will judge me for having dyed hair still or having a navel piercing but that stuff makes me happy so I stopped letting their comments get to me.