I spent the last two weeks of my summer, along with several hundred other Rice University upperclassmen, helping new members of the undergrad Owl community transition to life on campus, and to life in college. Advising teams across campus spent five days in Advisor Training, reviewing how to best help new students with academic and other issues, as well as solidifying plans for Orientation Week and the new students’ arrival. I can’t speak for all the other advisors, but I had a blast being a Fellow (what Wiess College calls its advisors) this year. Our Fellow team is full of some really amazing, interesting, talented, funny people, all of whom gave so much of themselves to help those around them. On top of getting to work and become friends with these wonderful upperclassmen, I had such a good time meeting and befriending new students, and seeing Rice and college through their eyes.
It was awesome. I ended the week grateful, exhausted, and on an emotional high. Then, everyone else moved back to campus, classes started, and I found out that I’m a hypocrite. I had just spent an entire week telling new students all these things about “what it means to be a Rice student” and “the importance of having balance” and “getting out of your comfort zone,” and as soon as school started for real, I reverted right back to my old ways of not living up to being an active member of the campus community, poorly managing my time, and staying nice and cozily tucked into my comfort zone (aka my single at Wiess). As I thought back to O-Week and my experiences, I was questioning what had made it such a great experience, and how I could keep the positive feelings going into the year.
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Well, here’s what I’ve come up with. During O-Week and Advisor Training, I was open and honest and awkward and silly and tired, not because I always wanted to be, but because I had to be. Advisors have to give so much of themselves in order to truly make the week about the new students and meet their needs to give them a positive experience. So, along with the rest of the members of the Fellow team, I put myself out there. I danced on tables, played games, wore face paint on multiple occasions, stayed up late, ate too many pancakes and HBCBs, got up early, spoke on panels, and generally told 88 virtual strangers things about myself and my college experience that even some of my closest friends don’t know. Most everyone who advised can agree, though, that even if doing all of this was exhausting and draining, it was so worth it, and we were happy to do it. And, if their experiences were anything like mine, this week was a time when they felt at their most confident, and best.
I’ll quit rambling about how awesome and exhausting the week was, and get down to it. It is possible to keep the O-Week high going throughout the year (I think). But what it takes is following our own advice, and doing the things we spent seven days encouraging new students to do. Here are my top "words of wisdom."
Don’t lose sight of home.Family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, teachers, pets — whoever or whatever it is that you love and left at home, make sure to stay connected to them. Call, text, write, whatever. Don’t forget where you come from, and make an effort to let loved ones know that, even though you’re gone, you haven’t left them behind.
Don’t be afraid to start over. Although it’s important to stay connected to those you love, this is also a great time to cut out the crap and start fresh. Frankly, coming back to school every year is an opportunity for this. Work on getting rid of bad habits (like staying up til' 2 a.m. for absolutely NO good reason — Tumblr and Buzzfeed really aren’t worth the loss of sleep), cut off toxic relationships, and generally do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Also don't be afraid of starting over with your interests. It's totally fine to change your major five times, to explore new classes and clubs, and hang out with different people.
Find a way to hold yourself accountable, while also letting yourself be imperfect. For me, this means having a schedule, and sticking pretty closely to it in order to get my work done, exercise, and have time for sleep and friends. There are no outside forces to hold me accountable like there were when I lived at home, so it’s more important than ever that I’m able to keep myself on track. But, it’s also necessary to be forgiving and give myself a break every now and then. It isn’t the end of the world if you don’t do something you “should” on occasion.
Realize that no major is inherently harder, or easier, than any other; the only difference is the number of requirements. Internalize this. Don’t be the person complaining about how much harder you have it than everybody else. Recognize that everyone is busy, and everyone struggles.
Get out of your comfort zone. This doesn’t have to mean going totally off the wall. This could mean starting a conversation with someone new when you’re usually the one to hang back. It could mean volunteering for a position you’ve never had before, or joining a group you’ve never heard of. It could mean befriending people different from your usual crowd. It could also mean something as simple as dancing and not caring that you suck at it because you’re having a good time.
But trust yourself, and know your limits. Listening to your gut is so important. Make sure the things you do and say are authentic to who you are, even if it might be tough. This is honestly the most important thing you can do to take care of yourself, and will positively impact your relationships.
Take a break, and don’t feel bad about it. Treat yo’ self, so to speak, and relax when you can. It’s easy to get caught up in the feeling that you have to be “productive” 24/7, but this is unhealthy and will make you feel burnt out super fast.
Recognize that the "you" sitting here today, whether you’re in college for the very first time or have been here for a while, is not the "you" that’s going to be around six months, a year, five years from now. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to grow and change and realize things.
Ask for help. If you’re going through a hard time, talk to someone about it. Not only are there resources (counselors, therapists, etc.) available, but there are friends and family members and professors and staff who care, and who want to help. Last semester — last year, really — was a tough time for me, but I tried to shrug it off and handle it on my own. Although I got through it, I could have gotten through it sooner and in a healthier way had I reached out to the people around me and let them into my world of hurt. Isolating yourself isn’t the solution to a problem, big or small.
It’s really easy to hear all these things and nod in agreement, but then quickly forget; it’s exactly what I’ve been doing for the past two years. This year, though, I’m determined to practice at least some of what I’ve been preaching. Here’s to hoping it goes well.
