The beginning of college can be scary, not only academically, but socially as well. Sometimes it can seem as though everyone is making friends except you, or everyone is going out every weekend while you're sitting in your room trying to find something to do. Something that I can guarantee is that you are not alone. There are always going to be those people who are more adept at putting themselves out there and making connections everywhere they go, and it’s okay if you are not that person. They always say college is the place where it’s super easy to meet new people and make amazing friends- the only part that isn’t true about that is that it’s easy. If you’re not the kind of person to go out of your way to be the center of attention or introduce yourself to someone, it’s not going to be as easy as people make it out to be to thrive socially away at school.
I know that when I first started college I wanted to put that shy persona I had throughout high school on the back burner and finally come out of my shell. This is the mind set many people have. No one knew me as the shy girl here, so why continue that reputation if I didn’t have to? I know that I definitely didn't want to. The only problem with this logic is that I didn’t account for the fact that I’m shy for a reason. It’s really hard for me to go up to someone I don’t know and start a conversation. Small talk? Don’t bother unless you want to hear me stutter about the weather for a few minutes. Ice breakers? Literally would rather spontaneously combust. There’s nothing wrong with this, though. Being shy doesn’t make me a bad person, it just makes me shy. It’s not the most desirable personality trait but it’s not detrimental.
College is not a cure for shyness, but it definitely gives us more reserved people a few more options when it comes to branching out. Basically, a new opportunity to put yourself out there will almost always arise, whether it be in the hallway of the dorm, in the classroom, or even out on the weekends. This way if you’re feeling a bit too uncomfortable in a scenario one day, another chance will almost always come around again. Not every school is like this, though.
Unfortunately, to find a school where I felt the most comfortable and found people I could easily talk to, I transferred my second semester of freshman year. Transferring is a completely viable option if you genuinely feel like you don’t fit in somewhere. Some people may make it seem like you’re taking the easy way out, but it’s not like that at all. What it’s all about is finding a place that makes you feel like you can overcome your shyness and truly succeed in the positive environment you’ve chosen. Once you’ve found it, you’ll know.
If you still find yourself struggling that’s totally normal. The new surroundings and environment of college can be overwhelming and very intimidating, but it’s important to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. If you’re in the right place things will fall into place for you. There seems to be this rush for everything to be going perfectly as soon as the semester starts, but in reality that is not always the case. You never know where or when you will meet your best friends, and they are those that will make you comfortable enough to want to come out of your shell in ways you didn't know possible. You may even surprise yourself with the confidence you can gain from a positive environment. Just give yourself some time to settle in and come into your own. I promise time will prove to be the most help, and prove that you are capable of being whatever kind of person you want to be at school.
