Hey future daughter,

As I write this, I am 21 years old, and the thought of having you is far, far away. But I wanted to write to you anyway. The person I assume will be your father has really put me through the wringer. Not because he’s a bad person, but because he’s a very, very good person. He’s challenged me in ways other people never have. Because of this, I have learned so many things about the world and myself. I hope you find that for yourself one day.

Anyway, I wanted to give you some advice based on what I’ve learned the past couple of years. First, you know how they said that it takes courage to become who you are? Well, that couldn’t be truer. However, what no one ever told me is that when faced with a part of you that you aren’t sure is part of who you are, be brave and put everything you have into it. Subject yourself to criticism. It might be scary, but trust me when I say that you won’t lose yourself. You are too strong and too smart to lose who you are. Subjecting yourself to that kind of risk is scary, but it’s a necessary obstacle if you want to find genuine happiness in your life.

Next, please know that there is a distinct difference between empowerment and confidence. Empowerment is a crash diet to feeling good about yourself. True confidence is quiet. True confidence isn’t boastful. And, more than anything, true confidence is very, very hard to obtain — especially if your judgment is clouded with pride. Remember to acknowledge and rectify your shortcomings, but never forget that you have infinite worth even as imperfect as you may seem.

I also want to share with you what I believe to be the meaning of life. (I know. It’s about to get deep.) I think that we were put on this earth to live a life we are happy with. I don’t know why exactly, but there has got to be a reason why feeding our passions feels so right. Since I was a little girl, I have always pushed myself to succeed. This is a good thing in theory, but I go overboard. I have always lived so far in the future that I never truly have enjoyed the moment. This has wired my brain to react to situations with anxiety. The key to happiness is to exercise balance. Everything in moderation — including moderation.

Lastly, don’t you ever, ever stop doing things that push you out of your comfort zone. Learn new things. Travel to new places. Admit when you’re wrong. Practice selflessness. Love.

And if worse comes to worse, know that you’ll always have me to lean on, to confide in. I don’t have all the answers, but I do have an unconditional amount of love for you. I won’t judge you as you explore who you are and how you fit into this world.

Until we meet,
Your mother