Once you leave high school you enter this whole new ball park called the real world. Whether you go to college or are entering the work force life is different and most definitely chaotic. All of us millennials are riding the same struggle bus trying to figure out how to properly “adult” while still balancing a social life, sleep, and work. IT AIN’T EASY. Somewhere along this journey we started asking ourselves questions about what the hell is going on. I’ve decided to make a list of them just so we all know we’re in this together and absolutely not alone as we try to get our shit together. Maybe it will help you feel slightly sane to know that the question you’ve googled 100 times isn’t actually as impractical as you so previously thought.
1. Am I dying?
Your mom isn’t here every second of the day anymore and suddenly you have a headache. You’ve convinced yourself that maybe something is completely wrong so you take to google which leads you to WebMD. They should seriously consider renaming the page to collegeMD because lets be real at least twice a week we are googling our symptoms which are probably just factors of stress & lack of sleep.
2. Am I good at anything?
In high school it was so easy to be involved in something, or anything for that matter. But now you’re questioning who you are and if your life is going anywhere besides the gutter. Even if you were the high school prom king or the class president, the real world sure doesn’t discriminate and it will kick you in the ass no matter who you used to be.
3. Is this edible?
So maybe we should have paid more attention when our parents were cooking for us every single night of the week. Going hungry did not even cross your mind but now a spoon full of peanut butter is considered a pretty decent lunch of protein. A care package of easy mac & Oreo's is probably the best thing that will happen to you this semester so better learn to portion control the stock pile under your bed.
4. What job requires no education or experience and makes at least 6 figures?
Ok, we have all considered giving up and looked for an easier route to success. If you attend college you are basically going to school to get a good job so that you can pay back your school loans. Where is the logic? You are lying if you say you have not looked up easy ways to make fast cash so that you can afford even a donut in a time of need. Is it legal to sell my blood for money?
5. How much Netflix is too much?
Being that you had to ask the question, you are probably way past the point of no return. You decide to lay in bed for an hour and then 6 hours later you've realized you're half way through a season and there is no quitting. We've grown up hearing that quitting is wrong but I'm not sure this applies to clicking next episode when Netflix has to ask if you're still there. Hey, at least the fictional characters we are trying to live through are doing well.
6. What actually are priorities?
Sleeping 9 hours a night always seemed to be top on the top of my to-do list but suddenly I cant tell if I should be more worried about squeezing in that extra afternoon nap or doing something slightly more productive like going to the gym to work off all the ice cream I've consumed. (I usually chose the nap). But somewhere along the line I think trying to be social is also important and should not be completely forgotten about.
7. Is tuition really free if this car hits me?
Face it, you know you considered jumping in front of a car to avoid paying 45 grand a year for sub par food and a dorm room the size of a closet. We should probably check with administration to make sure this one is true though.
8. Does Debt follow me to the grave?
Credit card debt, student debt, real estate debt, and car payment debt all have one thing in common. We can't pay them and sure as hell don't plan on having enough money to in the near future. Unless I win the lotto I'm not sure these will ever disappear from my life but if someone figures it out, I hope they let me know.
Here's to hoping we figure out what were doing before it's too late.
