I have reached the wonderful age of 22, and the thing I've noticed is having a lot of younger friends who need help being adultier adults. And now I am their guide into the world of adultier adultness. I have gathered up a few of the bigger pieces that I think helps ease a lot of the anxiety of being an adult.
1. Don't look at the total, look at the individual pieces.
Something I will probably always have excruciating anxiety about is my financial situation. One way to help myself not freak out about money is to break down each individual number and task that it accomplishes rather than the total, especially for the essentials that have to happen, because if I see a total, I'll try and tell myself I don't need electricity. So break it down, your rent costs $XYZ, and your heating is $AB and that makes it easier to handle.
2. Charity is better than debt.
Because I still am scared about money and I don't have the strength to move on from money yet: going into debt is not worth your inflated pride. I find more dignity in saying "I need to go to the food pantry this week instead of the grocery store, because my loans are just piling up instead of shrinking" rather than suffering in silence as I spend money I don't have. Trust me, I know it is humiliating, but think this way: that is free food.
3. Sometimes humans have better answers than the internet.
You might not believe me, I barely believe me, but sometimes a human answering your questions and having a conversation with you is more beneficial than using the internet in hopes nobody judges you. Especially medical things - Google didn't spend a billion dollars to get an MD.
4. You won't get anywhere if you don't even attempt to ask.
Ask your landlord if it's okay to pay late this month, the only thing they can do is say yeah okay or give you a late fee. Ask your advisor if it's okay to spend more time in one area than volunteer hours. Ask the grocery store attendant to round up with your deli bacon. The world won't explode if you simply ask, it might if you just wait it out and see what happens though.
5. Self-care has multiple facets.
Everyone hears "self-care is a bath bomb and wine!!" and "Self-care is buying that coffee!" but sometimes self-care is also forcing yourself to do the thing so things don't get worse. "I don't want to clean my room, self-care means nap" might not be the way to go, because now your room is so messy you are too overwhelmed to even begin. Sometimes self-care means using every ounce of your energy to make ten phone calls because you keep hearing about debt collectors and dentists and you need to move soon. This is a balancing act for everyone. When approaching a scenario that might be really difficult, take a moment to consider what the consequences are. In my example of the messy room: do I take a nap and save it for tomorrow? Well, if I save it for tomorrow I might have a more difficult time finding my work uniform at 6 am in the dark. Evaluate what direction of self-care you need to go: are you taking care of present you, or future you? Would future you be upset or worse off if you took care of present you?
6. Don't plug and chug the same cover letter every time.
Take it from someone finishing their degree with Technical Communications and pro-writing: ONE COVER LETTER IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ALL THE DIFFERENT JOBS. Personally, I never save a cover letter. I make a new one every single time. A cover letter is your way of saying more about yourself than just bullet points, and it should be a customized document for every company, because no two companies are the same in their hiring. They use key word search (they do that when you submit it: use the key words) and their philosophy. You have to have a cover letter that fits as specifically as possible to that job ad. That job ad was tailored, so your cover letter has to be too.
7. Alcoholism isn't all fun and games.
You don't need that drink after class, you just are dependant on it to the point that you think you do. We heavily romanticize alcoholism and ignore all the disasters it brings. Do you even blink anymore when you see a "don't drink and drive" ad? Because you've become so numb and think people won't be dumb BUT WE DO IT ALL THE TIME? Yeah. Enjoy a drink on a healthy mind, but remember that the rest of your body doesn't take it as medicine, it takes it as poison. Tell your liver you are sorry.
