One of the best parts about going to college is the group of friends you make along the way. You go to parties together, eat every meal together and if you're lucky, even get to live together. But, the "real world" after college is a whole new ballgame for everyone involved, and unfortunately, not all of your friends will end up making the cut.
1. You get busy.
GiphyThis may seem like the most obvious answer, but life after undergrad is filled with a whole bunch of new challenges and experiences that will occupy a lot of your time. Whether you're starting grad school or your first real job, sometimes friendships can get overlooked while you're busy dealing with the stress of it all.
2. You meet new people.
GiphyIt's natural to connect with the people around you. One of the reasons you became so close to your friends in college, whether you realize it or not, was because you were able to see them nearly every day. Now, the same is true for your new coworkers or classmates.
Over time, they become the ones you complain to about your boyfriend troubles or the ones that you invite out for drinks on the weekend. At first, it's due to convenience, but as you start to strengthen your bonds to these new people in your life, you may unconsciously be letting go of the ones from your past.
3. You realize you don't have much in common anymore.
GiphyWhether it was complaining about your professor's impossible assignments or laughing and joking around during club meetings, you and your friends never seemed to run out of things to talk about while on campus together. But, now that you're no longer in the same physical location, you may have come to the unfortunate realization that you really have nothing substantial holding the friendship together anymore.
If the only things you and your friends seem to talk about when you're together are memories and past experiences, your friendship might not be as strong as you once thought it was. This is the dreaded "situational friendship." Your friendship only really exists because of a shared, consistent space or activity, and once that's gone, so is the friendship. This is the type of friendship loss that may or may not be mutual but definitely comes as a shock.
4. You and your friends don't live close by anymore.
GiphyIn college, most of your friends were never more than a 10 minute walk away. But, once you move back home or into a new apartment, it can sometimes become difficult to maintain a friendship with someone if you are no longer able to physically see them. However, this is where FaceTime and Zoom come in handy. Try to schedule a video-chat date every once in a while to catch up. Even just sending them a text to let them know you're thinking of them can go a long way.
5. You're the only one reaching out
GiphyThis type of friendship loss can be one of the most difficult and complicated to rectify. It can be hard to tell whether your friend is not reaching out because she's really busy or because she no longer has an interest in maintaining the friendship post-grad.
If after a couple of attempts to make plans or start a conversation go unreciprocated, try to be honest about how you're feeling, and be clear about the fact that you are worried about losing her friendship. Although this can be difficult to do, her response (or lack thereof) should tell you everything you need to know. There's nothing wrong with giving people second chances, but don't let yourself be taken advantage of either.
