I’ve done my fair share of plentiful Christmas lists I had to do for Santa, and honestly, I haven’t written one in years. I’ve come to an ultimatum to work on my listing skills and finally write one again but this time, it’ll be an adult version. There are actually a lot of things that I want - long-term things more than temporary. I guess that’s just what "adulting" is. Here are some of the things I’m asking for Santa for Christmas.

This sounds so cliché but I’m genuinely asking for honestly for the new year. I’m a very blunt person; yes girl, I will tell you when your makeup is looking like a bowl of melted Neapolitan ice cream and I want the same treatment. I’ve gone through friends lying to me about the dumbest things when I caught them in the end of it all and had to cut them off. Some of them were best friends and all because they weren’t honest with me, they’ve been rerouted to the dumpster. Especially with girls - conniving bitches who will make you believe things other than the truth and when you back them up on it, you look like a fool when everyone else knew. It’s hard to come by, but it is attainable and it is worth looking out for.

What I’m also asking for is love and no, not the type of love that involves a boyfriend in my life but the continuation of endless love I already get from family and friends. Without the compassion, I wouldn’t be reminded of how many people truly care about me. But a hot soccer player that rhymes with blistiano wouldn’t hurt for a love interest. Brb let me work on my goals. Wink wink.

I think every adult this Christmas wants endless amounts of coffee and alcohol. Come on, we have to admit that coffee keeps us running throughout the weekdays and alcohol for the weekend. But god knows that shit can add up, so a limitless supply would help Santa. I’ve been nice for the most part excluding margarita Mondays, tequila Tuesdays, wine-night Wednesdays, thirsty Thursdays, fucked up Fridays, and shit-faced Saturdays. We leave Sunday for church. Sips the sacramental wine way longer than needed.

Obviously coming from me but MORE MAKEUP. Need I say more? I already have an extensive collection; literally quadruples of products I only need one of but of course desert camel gold is way different than Greek goddess gold. They might be exactly the same color but because it’s a different brand and different packaging, it's something us girls crave for. Yes so it may seem like a waste of money but I don’t see you looking as fierce as me.

But on a final note, holidays shouldn’t be spent sharing material things. They should be celebrated with the exchange of memories and futures goals we have for ourselves. After all, that new iPhone won’t be there for you to ace graduate school. Keep your friends close and your family closer - for those are the people we should be cherishing everyday, not just for the holidays. But always remember, when that crazy aunt wants to ask a whole bunch of questions about your nonexistent love life, make sure to put an asterisk next to the limitless supply of booze you want. I know that will wake up Santa’s spirits.