While listening to Christmas music on the radio the other day, I had this heartbreaking realization. It hit me, Christmas changes as we grow older. The traditions may stay the same but their impact seems to lessen. I have always had the best time around Christmas. My family did everything together, I could not have asked for anything more perfect. But here it is 19 years of Christmas' and I don't know what's happening.

More and more I am finding myself confused about how Christmas will go. The traditions that always happen, what becomes of Christmas when they stop? Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but what if it isn't? The perfection we see as children is masked by the presents, lights, and music. But then it strikes. Somehow the joy escapes you.

Christmas becomes something of a chore rather than a celebration. It has become all about finding the perfect present of making the best meal. Where did all the love go? Why can't I feel the excitement anymore? I know that change is a good thing and it happens but I don't know how to deal with this change.

When you're a kid, sleeping seems impossible on Christmas Eve, but now sleep is just as sound as any other night. It has become so stressful. The laughter sometimes sounds fake. The smiles aren't real. The generosity comes from obligation. The excitement is for the children. I can't stop asking myself, where has Christmas gone?

Through all the disappointment that come with the 'adult Christmas' just reminds me of why we are celebrating. None of this hoopla is necessary. We have created Christmas to be what it is and what we all expect. Not to sound cliche but Jesus is the real reason for the season. Just like everyday life, we all need to work on giving Christmas back to the one who deserves it.

Although it all changes, we have the power to bring it back to the good times.