Up until last year, I lacked a phone with internet access. It only had calling/ texting capability, and even then I only called my parents. I didn't realize what a blessing this was, until about a month into using my phone.

I often reflect on Life Before the Phone (B.P.) and Life After the Phone (A.P.). In 2016 B.P., I had an incredibly long attention span. I was a chronic "pre"-crastinator (completed my assignments the day of or the day after they were assigned), I could read for hours on end, and would wake up every morning before 6 am to complete my most difficult tasks without issue. I was a great listener with respect to both lectures and my own personal life, and -cliche or not-my brain seemed to just absorb everything I learned.

Compared with 2018 A.P., my current brain frolics in imaginary gardens and spends minutes in lecture wondering about the curvature of ponytails, while the words of experts go over my head. I feel anxious when I see a message or email notification on my phone. When people talk to me, my eyes flicker towards my phone. Sometimes, I waste my mornings sorting through my emails. Sometimes, I waste my free time answering messages instead of going outside to enjoy the sun in the hour gap between classes. I've noticed an increasing difficulty to retain information in my head, and I constantly worry that I'm not reaching my full academic potential. Or social potential, for that matter.

No, I don't intend to repeat the "devices-are-ruining-the-lives-of-the-younger-generation" rhetoric. It is a definite benefit to be able to instantly connect with someone in urgent situations, in addition to navigation and looking up questions to expand your knowledge base. And yet, as a young person myself, I think that these reasons sum up all the usefulness of phones. Since the day I got it, my phone has been on silent, because hearing the "ping!" of an incoming text makes my heart race. As it is, even seeing a notification pop-up contributes to an anxiety that grows every day.

At least for me, this anxiety stems from a conflict between wanting to be a responsible person and responding in a timely manner, and wanting to be disciplined and completing the numerous other higher-priority tasks at hand.

Though I know that the phone is likely a permanent fixture in my life, I refuse to let my phone dictate my daily routine.

I am going to snatch back my attention span and cut back on the amount of information I am faced with every day. That begins with turning off notifications so I can control when I check my messages and emails and getting a proper alarm clock instead of using the alarms on my phone.

With a bit of elbow grease, I am going to learn how to smoothly transition into life With A Phone. Good-bye, life After the Phone.