A lot took place at Super Bowl 50, aside from the actual football game. The halftime show featured Coldplay, Bruno Mars and Beyoncé, who showcased her new single "Formation" with a performance later critiqued by some and praised by others for its political message. Coldplay, too, seemed to take the stage with a message, as pointed out by mic.com, giving a nod and tribute to LGBT love with colorful placards reading "Believe in Love" accompanied by an earlier shot of lead singer Chris Martin specifically greeting a crowd member who was feverishly waving a pride flag all over camera. Meanwhile, according to msn.com, an inflow of an estimated 600 arrests occurred throughout 17 states in the U.S., all due to an influx of sex trafficking, a typical trend of Super Bowl day. Needless to say, a lot was happening.
Though, out of the three occurrences, Beyoncé's performance and music video seem to have captured the most attention. Ironically, when I was watching the controversy unfold on the screen before me, through the Internet, I was reading about Active Listening for a Communication class of mine. In observing the sides divide before me, it seemed to me that we were all not actually taking the time to process or hear Beyoncé's actual message. We were all too quick to react—whether in praise or in critique. Were we simply reacting to each other?
Recommended for you
I think we need to take another look at Beyonce's performance and music video, this time pausing and engaging and processing it. Below is an exercise for Active Listening. The point of active listening is to understand both the content and the emotion of the person's message to better understand what was said.
A Guide to Active Listening
I suggest re-watching the Halftime Show and if you saw her music video as well, re-watch that too, while following these steps:
1. First, stop.
Before you can give the other person your full attention, you must stop focusing on your own mental messages and be other-oriented.
-Put your thoughts aside
-Be there mentally, not only physically
-Make a conscious, mindful effort to listen
-Take adequate time to listen--don't rush the speaker (or skip parts of the show or music video), be patient.
-Be open-minded
2. Look.
Look for clues as to identify the feelings of the other person. This can be communicated through body movement and posture and through voice quality, power and volume. Just look, observe.
3. Listen.
Decipher the content and the emotion behind the person's message. Ask yourself "How would I feel if I were in that person's position?" Match verbal and nonverbal cues to discover what emotion is being communicated.
4. Ask questions.
You are aiming to understand, so ask questions. In this case, Beyoncé won't be responding, but it is important to think of clarifying questions you might have. This ensures that you do not make assumptions unintended by the speaker and that you are actually putting in effort to understand.
5. Paraphrase content.
The "what," or content, of the message is just half of what is being communicated. Paraphrase what you believe the other person to be saying. Again, Beyoncé is not here in person to correct you, but get the message down to a short phrase.
6. Paraphrase feelings.
Emotion is the other half of a message that is sent. Paraphrase the feelings she must be having. An example of this would be, "You must be feeling pretty frustrated right now, aren't you?" Again, Beyoncé is not here to answer this, but doing this puts yourself in the other person's shoes, or heels, in this case.
This practice of quieting our own thoughts, of truly trying to comprehend both the content and emotion of a message is crucial to getting a complete understanding of what is being said.
My hope in giving this exercise is to encourage others to not jump to conclusions about what another person is saying. We need to spend time processing and listening to the message thoughtfully and carefully, before we open up our mouths to share an opinion. Consider all sides, consider the emotion and the content of the message, consider how you yourself might get in the way of the message and it's meaning.
We have become a culture who claims to listen, while covering our ears and mentally preparing a response. We don't take messages in well, we don't let them sit with us for long before we have something to say. I am sure Beyoncé would appreciate it if you intentionally took time to listen to what it is she said and did and what it is she felt. Remember that the majority of messages that are sent out by people are not ALL good, or ALL bad. People who agreed with her and disagreed with her did so too quickly. Beyoncé's performance and music video deserve to be truly thought about and processed. Active Listening is a wonderful, crucial exercise that helps people to listen well, something people did not do when responding to Beyonce's message.
Beebe, Steven A., and John T. Masterson. Communicating in Small Groups: Principles and Practices. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman, 1986. Print.
