If you watch football or any other sports, you’ve probably heard of an athlete tearing their ACL and being out for the season. You might think "wow that must suck", but unless you’ve had a serious knee injury, I don’t think people think about the actual surgery and recovery.

Thankfully throughout my 22 years of life, I’ve never had any broken bones, torn ligaments, or sprains. That is, until September 5th, 2016. I was playing volleyball in Devil’s Lake, having the time of my life. I remember going for a ball that was a little too far out of my reach and heard a loud pop in my left knee. I immediately fell down in the water. I couldn’t put much weight on it at all, but I just thought I had twisted my knee wrong. I got back up and continued to play. A few minutes later the same thing happened and I heard another loud pop. That’s when I knew something was wrong and needed to go to the ER.

My boyfriend drove me to the ER and the X-Rays showed nothing. I knew it had to be ligaments and I tried to prepare for the worst. When I got my MRI results back they showed that I tore my ACL, my medial meniscus, my lateral meniscus, and fractured my tibia. I knew it sounded bad, and I knew it was going to be a challenge, but nothing could have prepared me for the surgery or recovery. If you don’t know what an ACL, or meniscus are, I’ll try my best to explain it without boring you.

The Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) is the ligament that connects your femur (thighbone) to your tibia (shinbone) at the knee. The general function of the ACL is to prevent hyperextension and to prevent forward movement of the tibia off the femur. You only have two menisci in your knee which are the medial and lateral, and of course with my luck, I tore them both. The menisci are like moon shaped shock absorbers between the femur and the tibia. They provide joint stability, force transmission, and lubrication for the knee. Depending on how bad the fracture is, you’ll need to keep it immobilized so it has time to heal. A fracture is a break in the bone. Thankfully my tibia fracture was very small and will heal on its own.

When I woke up from surgery, I was a mess. I remember seeing my knee wrapped in an ACE bandage, and being in this huge, bulky knee brace, and I was just sobbing. I was not prepared for the immense pain and the general reality of it all. Crutches became my worst nightmare and my worst enemy. I was absolutely no weight bearing on my left leg at all for 8 weeks after surgery. Those were the worst 8 weeks of my life. I couldn’t do anything on my own. Let me tell you when you’re a stubborn, hard headed person who is used to doing everything on your own, that kills you.

I had a lot of mental breakdowns. Physical therapy was overall, depressing. Seeing my right leg so muscular and toned and then looking at my left leg which was just skin and bone with no muscle made me cry. I wanted to quit and stop going, but I had a great support system that pushed me every day. If I could go back in time and stop this from happening, I wouldn’t do it. This challenge pushed me and now, I have the greatest motivation, dedication, and strength that I never thought I would ever have.

I thought I was never going to walk again. I was so fearful of everything I did. Seeing people playing sports made my knee ache. But I knew if I was going to be afraid of things for the rest of my life, then I would never give myself the chance to move forward. I used to hate looking at my scars because it was a constant reminder of my weakness. But now, I look at it with a huge grin because I see now that it was a sign of strength all along.