A lot of people that are very close to me have passionately denied their privilege or completely shut down any conversation about it. While it upsets and bothers me very much, I do not hate them for it because I understand that it might be hard to see the oppression if you are the privileged one. But if you actually think we are all treated equally, then you must be wearing a blindfold. And how would you ever work for equality for all if you completely deny the hierarchy even exists?
Every time there is a talk about white privilege, there are some white people that just completely shut down the conversation, calling it "racist." I am pretty sure it hurts your feelings, but how do you compare that with people of color who are not only affected emotionally but physically, socially, economically and mentally every day? And unless we acknowledge the problem, it will stay like that forever.
Be open to dialogue: speak, listen, respect and try to understand. Dialogue is good. Dialogue has solved many issues.
As a white person, to say that I have always been treated equally to you is to completely disregard my reality (and mine is very small compared to others.) I don't think a whole family will shout, "Go back to your country!" to you when you are biking back to your house from college while minding your own business. I am pretty sure you can walk in the streets of New York without random people telling you to, "Go back to Mexico." (I am not even Mexican. I am from Nepal. I am just brown -- fairly dark, kind of chocolaty, delicious brown.)
I am the most non-violent looking person ever. (I look like a 14-year-old) I thought I was the least deserving of so much hate by people that don't even know me, that is, until I came to America. I have been here for just two years. I live in the bubble of my college and the small town of Goshen. I have not experienced real world yet. I cannot even relate to what people of color who were born and raised here or lived here for long go through. Their experience with racism goes beyond just dealing with racial slurs every day. And that is a problem.
How could I ever deny my privilege as a cis-gendered man, when the advantages I have because of my gender have been very prominent in my life, especially coming from extremely patriarchal South Asian society? Have I ever walked around in fear of being stripped of my autonomy? No. Do I feel safe going anywhere? Yes. If I get hired, will I be paid more than an equally-qualified female colleague? Most likely. Have any sexist jokes ever been directed to me? Never.
Let's talk about trans people committing suicide. One of the articles I read said that 40 percent of all trans people have tried killing themselves at some point in their lives. And as cis-people, I very much believe that we are responsible for it. I am responsible for it. With every "fag" or "tranny" joke you make, you push someone towards believing that their life is subject to jokes. You stop someone from expressing themselves the way they want. With your every discrimination and rejection, you are making someone hate their life.
You are responsible for this systemic oppression because you perpetuate the idea. You "fuel" the system. You keep it alive.
No one should ever be afraid to be themselves. But thanks to us and our presumption that only our reality matters, we are pushing both kids and adults to kill themselves or live their entire life in guilt or inferiority.
People are protesting against letting trans people use the bathroom they identify with. They are protesting against businesses that actually believe in inclusion than bigotry. Have you ever had to go through something like that? Probably not. How can you go on with your life being proud of your "firm beliefs" when you can see very clearly that people are dying because of you? Why do you think people need your approval to live their life?
Donald Trump and organizations like Act for America have always openly ranted about Muslims being terrorists. They defend their outright racism by calling it "not being politically correct," and urge us not to call everything that doesn't fit into our "modern sensibilities" as "racist." They think it is okay to hold 1.5 billion Muslims in the world accountable for the actions of terrorist groups who happen to "follow" the same faith. Because of them, and their influence, my Muslim friends here have a hard time even walking around without being stared at, frowned upon, or physically or verbally attacked. They are scared to ride on trains with hijab on. My roommate is a Muslim, and he wouldn't even hurt a fly while I, without any guilt, will crush cockroaches that try to invade my privacy. And still, if we got caught by police, there is a high chance of him being held responsible while I pass easily because I am not Muslim. How is that not unfair? And how is that not my privilege?
It is very easy to sit on your throne of comfort and call millions of homeless refugees "terrorists in disguise." Go there and try to live their life and you will know how it feels to flee from your home to avoid violence, aimlessly wander nowhere in search for home (a lot even died on the way), and end up being called harbingers of terrorism by the whole world.
You should not think that you are being personally attacked when you are called privileged. The institutional and systemic hierarchies that make you the dominant one is not your personal fault.
I have absolutely no shame in admitting that I am privileged in many ways. There is absolutely nothing that is holding me back from saying that it is very unfair. I don't want my sense of superiority to come from someone else's inferiority ever.
When you're privileged, it makes your voice louder and more credible than people who are not. You can either use that voice to combat the injustices or you can just deny it for life and perpetuate the same institutional domination that will eventually affect you too at some point.
For me, the advantages that come to me unfairly just because of my color, gender or sexuality is not worth it. Likewise, the disadvantages that I face or anyone else faces because of them is unacceptable.
So, will I always critique patriarchy even though I am a man? Yes. Does everyone have the right to be themselves and express themselves the way they want? Yes. Would I always, without any hesitation, prefer equality even if I am the privileged?
For me, wanting equality for all and wishing that someday everyone may live in peace is good. Critiquing my own place/role in the system to better understand the other is not "going overboard with liberal activism" or "shoving liberal agenda down the throats of people." It is actually just being a responsible human and ensuring that everybody gets a platform to express themselves, feels safe, and has equal opportunity. Why not lift ourselves and others together?
