I had been in Buenos Aires only one week, and within that week I had experienced more uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations than the last three years of my life combined. I’d gotten lost daily. Multiple times a day. Every. Day. I’d been squished like a sardine on the Subte (subway) only to learn within a few stops that I’m actually headed in the wrong direction. I’d waited endlessly for buses only to miss my stop. I’d been redirected to placing my trash in the area designated on my hall, that the doorman actually takes it out, not me. I’d been reprimanded for opening my apartment door without first asking who it was. I’d been more conversationally lost than I had been since I studied abroad in Spain, every other phrase out my mouth being: “Perdon, no te entendi…” (I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that…). My tongue had been twisted up, with an overload of Spanish, leaving my brain wrung out like a rag at the end of each day trying to fully comprehend the Castellano dialect. My mind struggled to figure out the currency exchange, tossing around an endless amount of numbers. I fought through the nights to sleep well. They say New York City is the city that never sleeps…. then Buenos Aires must be its sister city.
Everything was so new. Everything was foreign. And to be frank, everything was quite uncomfortable. Whenever we begin the process of learning, taking on something new to us, it is very logical that in order to begin, we must endure the uncomfortable.
As adults, and as human beings, we are simply uncomfortable being….well…uncomfortable! Many times, at the beginning of learning something we fumble and jumble around it, we struggle to grasp the most basic functions of any new action. This, in turn, can easily create an attitude full of self-doubt, covered in a layer of being overly self-conscious. It hurts our pride. It's punctures our ego. But, the key here to keep in mind, when you want to throw your hands up in the air and say: “I’m done”, is that in order to engage in the process of evolution, of eventually turning a trait into a strength, you must endure the uncomfortable. Like Miss Julie Andrews told us in The Sound of Music… you must start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.
Most children are unaware of this entire concept. What beautiful innocence! Children who begin to learn something, anything, do so because they want to. They are driven for the sake of learning, for the love of something, or simply, for a basic need they have. They do not concern themselves with how others are perceiving them, or wondering where they are at in comparison to their peers. They just begin. They practice. And with time, it becomes comfortable.
Can you imagine if a child stopped learning things because they felt uncomfortable? Yes…these words keep getting jumbled in my mouth, so this talking thing, I’ve decided, isn’t for me. I keep wobbling around and falling…so I think I'll just skip out on this “walking” deal. Eating solid food? Riding a bike? Driving a car? Nah, I’ll pass… I don’t want to be too uncomfortable.
In her book Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert tells a story of a lobster-man…yes, a lobster-man. It is one of my very favorite parts of this incredible book, and I am often reminded of lobster-man whenever I am attempting anything new. Gilbert explains how this struggling artist moves to France and doesn’t know anyone and is struggling, but nonetheless following his dream of becoming an artist. One day, he is invited to a costume ball, where he cheerfully accepts thinking it will be a chance to meet some new people. This struggling artist goes out and buys bright red attire, including bright red spandex, and dresses up as a lobster only to find that this costume ball where everyone was decked out to the nines, and he shows up in bright red spandex. What does this artist do while uncomfortably standing in the doorway of this enormous ball? He makes the best of it. He charms everyone around him and makes a huge impression with people, becoming unforgettable, in part because of the red spandex, but primarily because of his attitude.
This story seems silly and insignificant, but I love it for what it portrays. Life is going to throw you uncomfortable situations, without a doubt. If you are changing and growing, you are going to find yourself in unfamiliar territory. At one point or another, you are going to feel like the lobster man…. As if you have cherry red spandex on in front of an “elite” group of people who are all dressed in Chanel. You have a choice, you can back down and cower away from anything new…. or you can be the lobster-man. And jump right on in, no matter how terrified or embarrassed or confused you feel. Remember that attitude is a whole hell of a lot more memorable than ability. Jump in.
I guarantee Michael Phelps did not jump into a pool and know immediately how to swim. I can bet Serena Williams felt awkward her first time holding a tennis racket. And I highly doubt Payton Manning threw a perfect touchdown the first time his hands touched a football.
Everyone has to start at the beginning. We must endure the uncomfortable to become comfortable. At anything….and at everything. So let go of your pride, try something new, and be okay with not being an all-star at the start…. if you want it badly enough…you’ll get there. And remember, you don’t have to be great to start… but you must start in order to be great.
