Accepting That Life Changes When You Get A Significant Other | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

Accepting That Life Changes When You Get A Significant Other

Keeping everyone pleased is an impossible goal that I no longer intend to pursue.

14
Accepting That Life Changes When You Get A Significant Other
Vladimir Kudinov

I met a boy. Okay, I know, the inner feminist in me hates that sentence as much as you do, but let me continue.

I was never interested in dating until I met him. All of my friends pressured me into hanging out with him and giving me reasons to like him. I'll admit, aside from their teasing, I really did think he was a great guy. However, once I actually gave in to their reasoning and fell in love with this boy, it felt as though I was incapable of doing anything right ever again. I was immediately pushed onto a tightrope with the ends being held up by hands full of butter.

I cannot describe the amount of guilt I have felt this past year for having a boyfriend. My heart sank every time my friend told me she was upset that we didn’t text or hang out as much. I’m a terrible friend. I can’t believe I’m turning into the girl who is defined by her relationship.

This led to an extreme amount of insecurities. I no longer felt comfortable posting pictures of me and my boyfriend together. Any time that I brought him to an event I tried so hard to make sure I socialized with everyone except for him. It even got to a point where I would cancel plans I had made with him days or weeks in advance, to go and hang out last minute with my friends.

He was always more than supportive of this. But as you can imagine, it became a sore topic in our relationship and really the only thing we would get into negative discussions about. Our relationship feels like the cause of my struggling friendships. As I mentioned before, this was an insecurity and insecurities often become overexposed and overly discussed in relationships.

The fact that my life was changing because of my new boyfriend made me upset. I realize now just how ridiculous that logic is.

Yes, of course my life is going to change. I am bringing someone new into my life whom I care about and fall more and more in love with each day. If this boy were to leave me tomorrow, though a mess I would be, I would be so much of a better person than I was before I met him. And to me, that is reason enough to spend so much time with him. Even if that weren’t true, dating (to me at least) is about finding someone who you could marry someday. Now, if I am only supposed to spend the few moments in between work and hanging out with friends with my boyfriend, how the hell am I ever going to get to fall in love? There are only 24 hours in a day and I so wish there were more, but there simply are not. I am in love and happy and that is all that matters. As long as I am staying true to who I am, I am not defined by my relationship.If my friend cannot support that, then a friend she is not.

I cannot believe it took me this long to understand that I am only human. No way in hell am I taking this problem into the new year with me. I shall leave it here.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

3856
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1934
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1458
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1327
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments