'Happiness' is a relative term. Everyone thinks the key to a “successful” life is happiness. There are hundreds of 'how-to' books on finding happiness, sayin, 'boost your self-esteem; you’ll be happy! Arrange your life down to the exact second; happiness awaits!' You can be the most positive person in the entire planet and you’re still going to have moments of grief, trauma and uncertainty. Yes, moments of joy and excitement are some of the best, but why does that mean we choose to ignore the other parts of our lives? Why do we wish things hadn’t happened, or constantly wish to just be happy? There are many facets of our lives that make them worth living. Everything in our lives shapes us, and it’s time to embrace all parts of our life.

Recently, I’ve realized a lot of the good things in my life came from something painful. I’ve had better relationships because the previous ones have shown me my worth. I have been hurt, and I’ve hurt others. Practice makes perfect, and accepting the bad parts of our life enables us to understand more about ourselves. If I had ignored the problems in my past relationships, I’d never have a successful relationship. I’ve worked terrible jobs, but now that I’m working a job I enjoy, I respect it and appreciate it more. I think the fact that we have to learn from our mistakes is something everyone knows, but I feel as though people dismiss the negative parts of their life without realizing how important those parts of their life are.

I constantly see on social media and from my friends, “I just want to be happy.” I’ve said the phrase many a time myself. But most the time, we also wouldn’t know happiness unless we experience pain. I completely attest that many of the attributes I’m most proud of about myself are traits that came from pain and struggle. Yes, some of those times were awful -- absolutely awful -- but do I wish they hadn’t happened? No, I’m glad they happened. I think those “bad” experiences are part of me, part of my life, and I accept them gladly.

We are the sum of our experiences, so why ignore the things that are painful? We should look on all our experiences as building blocks that make us who are. Embrace the “negative.”