In movies and television, it’s commonplace for a dad-bod, average Joe kind of guy to get with the really hot super-model type chick – take any movie starring Jason Segel or Seth Rogen. And we consider this okay. We root for the underdog to get the hot chick and when he does, we cry and hope she doesn’t have to picture Daniel Craig to get through their sexual encounters.

And there’s nothing wrong with this. There isn’t a thing wrong with Seth Rogen; I, myself, have a bit of a celebrity crush on him. And his looks shouldn’t inhibit his ability to attract Rose Byrne or Katherine Heigl. But what we have done as a society is condition our men to accept nothing less because they believe they deserve nothing less. They can’t even look in the direction of a normal looking woman lest they be considered less of a man or have pity thrust upon him for having to schlep some cow of a girl around in public.

However, if a woman like me – say a Lena Dunham or Melissa McCarthy type – an average looking woman who’s on the heavier side but seems likable and funny and generally, a pleasant human being were to capture the attention of Channing Tatum, all hell would break loose. How dare she? Shouldn’t she be over there in the corner being gross with Jonah Hill? Why is that? What is so repulsive about an average woman that makes her so unworthy of love, and especially unworthy of any attention from anyone slightly attractive? But it’s OK for Kevin James to get the hot chick.

I’m not saying that I also deserve Channing Tatum; he’s not really my type. But even the guys who would be more my type – the Seth Rogens and the Jason Segels of the world – reject even the idea with being with someone who couldn’t be on the cover of Vogue because they have been shown time and time again that, that is their prize waiting for them at the end of the tunnel of size 12s.

When did “We accept the love we think we deserve” become “We accept the attractiveness we think we deserve”? That’s so incredibly wrong. In all honesty, this isn’t even really about who dates the hot chick and making sure we all date within our leagues or letting Lena Dunham get some action every now and again. What troubles me the most is that we box ourselves into roles and labels in society based solely on our physical appearances.

We make friends based on physical appearances, we choose our boyfriends and girlfriends based on their pant size, and we even shape ourselves on what we believe society will allow with what we’ve been given. And that’s horrible. What kind of life is that? We are all doing each other as human beings a great disservice by depriving each other of the relationships and bonds that could be formed if we just look past the mirror.

I’m not here to give you an “Everyone is beautiful” speech because it’s not true. There are some ugly people out there on this planet, inside and out. But what I am saying is, it shouldn’t matter if you’re ugly or not, if you’re skinny or not, if you’re plain and tall or not. What should matter is who you are on the inside of that body you hate so much. We should love and accept each other’s bodies because the people we are, are what’s inside. And nothing on the outside will ever change that.