I had a great childhood. I had a mother and a father and, though divorced, they loved me as much as any mom and dad could. My mother was a single mom who worked 40+ hours a week to provide for her family and put food on the table so her three daughters would not live without. My dad wasn’t in the picture as much as I would have loved him to be, but that’s just the way divorce works. Little did I know, there was danger hiding behind my neighbor’s door.
Abuse comes from any person. They might not know you or be related to you. Whoever it may be, you usually do not see it coming.
I was four years old when I met her. It was my first year of preschool. She was the quiet, lonesome type. She was a cute girl with tight curls that hugged close to her head. I always gravitated towards the quiet, lonesome types of kids because it pained me to see them all by themselves. Her mother was always working crazy hours because she was a nurse and the sole provider of the household. Then there was her dad - a crazy alcoholic who reeked of beer and cigarettes.
“Want to play hide and seek?” he would ask. I grew up hating that game.
I feared every man who walked in my life because my innocence was robbed at such a young age. I reflected him in everyone I saw.
His cold hands…his breath that smelled of poison…
Over the years I made myself forget but he would, like a disease, creep his way into the back of my head. I eventually grew from the experience and thought I had moved on.
Then I met my ex.
He was wonderful at first and, even though he had scars on his face, I thought I had fallen head over heels for him. I wish I would’ve seen it coming. The fights and the yelling. When he said I looked like a slut in the clothes I was wearing or him telling me I was stupid. His cheating on me and making everything feel like it was my entire fault. He had broken me. The strong person I had built up was once again shattered into a million pieces. This abuse went on for five long years until I finally had enough.
It turned me into something I always regret. I was an alcoholic. Whatever liquor was in my fridge, I would drink the entire bottle in one night. I partied every weekend and I went home with random guys. In the midst of all of this, I found my husband. I knew he was completely different from the beginning. He had such a warm and inviting presence that I was entirely drawn to. Through him, I changed everything about me and, once again, found my happy self.
Abuse is real and it happens to 6.6 million children a year. A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds. In a study of 1,000 women 15 years of age or older, 36% had experienced emotional abuse while growing up; 43% had experienced some form of abuse as children or adolescents; 39% reported experiencing emotional abuse in a relationship in the past five years.
