Since high school, I found myself constantly drawn to the darker genres of media and entertainment. I don't strictly mean scary/horror; in fact, that might be my least favorite genre. No, I'm talking about the gory, on the edge of your seat, page-turning, pearls-clutching thriller and suspense. Since becoming virtually immune to jumpscares (thanks to my brothers and dad), I was desperately searching for that adrenaline pumping fear factor that you get when on a roller coaster, for example. I wanted to be exposed to new fears that wouldn't just scare me for a second and disappear the next. I wanted that 2-week nightmare inducing fear that forbids you from even thinking about looking behind you. As a huge fan of all things thriller, I wanted to give a list of my top favorite suspense/thriller/gore novels, TV shows, games, etc. that I would highly recommend for anyone wanting to get into the genre or already a fanatic.

Books

1. The Kind Worth Killing by Peter Swanson

THIS. BOOK. I wish so much to be able to read this book again and again and again. I highly recommend this book to anyone who loved Gone Girl or The Girl On The Train. It's a psychological suspense novel that features a man named Ted, a man who thinks his wife Miranda is cheating on him, and a woman he meets in the airport named Lily, who wants to help Ted kill his wife after Ted mentions killing her in a passing joke. They are on the fast track to planning Miranda's murder, growing closer and closer together in the process. They confide in each other with everything...except for the fact that Lily doesn't share the whole truth on how far back her murder history really goes. If you want to finish a book in one sitting, definitely read this book, it'll leave you in a book hangover for weeks.

2. Before I Go To Sleep by S. J. Watson

One day, I sat and tried to think back on my life. I came up with almost nothing. There are moments in certain years that I can remember, but anything else is as if I never existed before that very moment. Imagine waking up in the morning, thinking you are nearly 40 years younger than you really are, and then realizing you cannot remember anything that happened between going to bed in your childhood home and now. Imagine waking up thinking you have your whole life ahead of you, only to look in the mirror and realize you already lived your life and are settled now. This is Christine's existence, suffering from anterograde amnesia, which hinders her from forming new memories. She wakes up thinking she's a kid, sometimes a teen or young adult, only to find that she's in her 40s and married. Her doctor calls her everyday to remind her to read her journal that she writes in telling herself about her daily deeds and past events she suddenly remembers. She gains some of her identity back through this journal, and her husband, but as soon as she falls back asleep, it disappears and they cycle starts all over again. But imagine that the person you trust the most to take care of you might actually be lying directly to your face, and might be extremely dangerous to you. This is Christine's existence, and this is why you need to read this book. Edit: Apparently there's a movie of this that came out in 2014, so you know what I'm gonna do when I'm finished with this article!

3. Pretty Girls by Karen Slaughter

Okay...I debated for a long time on whether or not to put this book on the list. It has 4.5 our of 5 stars on Audible, but the written reviews for this book were leaning on the low 1 to 2 stars. Upon reading the reviews, people were complaining it was far too gory and horrific for their tastes, some even wanted it off the website because it was too much. A highly rated book that was listed too graphic even for fans of gore? Sign. Me. Up. Claire and Lydia's sister Julia disappeared twenty years ago with no sign of her whereabouts. The two sisters haven't talked since. Present day, Claire's multi-millionaire husband was killed right in front of her. The tragedy brings back memories of Julia, bringing the sisters to talk with each other again. They dig into the past of their lives and the lives of their most loved around them, trying to find some closure on why these two deaths could somehow be connected. Upon much investigation, they get into such deep shit, there may not be a way out. I personally felt very tortured listening to this book. The explicit graphic violence draws you in, but beats you over the head with it over and over again, until it's nearly too much to take. I cautiously recommend this book. It is not for the faint at heart or even those that believe they could take it. You need a stomach and a mind of steel to recognize that this book is a phenomenal, but menacingly twisted, work of art that doesn't put the Hollywood shades on rape, torture, and murder. Major trigger warning: all innocence will be lost after reading this novel.

Television Shows

1. Hannibal

This will forever be my top recommendation to anyone who enjoys suspense and thriller or wants to get into it. A little hard to take at first, this show is so beautiful. Producer Bryan Fuller has transformed the books and movies into a three-season TV show (screw you, NBC, for cancelling it) that is like watching a dynamic art piece. The good-looking cast, the tension-building soundtracks, the expensive clothes and set design, the poetic script, the FOOD—which is disturbing because, you know, it's people—even the mutilated bodies that Hannibal and other murderers create themselves are beyond stunning. Will Graham can glance at a crime scene and become the killer in his mind, showing the audience exactly what happened at the time of the murder. The trust, betrayal, investigation, endless twists, and drama that plays out are so gripping it makes you feel as if you are directly feeling all of the emotions the characters are going through. Again, not for the faint at heart, there's PLENTY of gore to go around in this series.There are only 13 episodes in each season, but the pilot "Apéritif" is more than enough to be completely hooked. LUCKILY, if you are an Amazon Prime member, seasons 1-3 are included in your prime membership, so there's literally no reason for you to not watch it!

2. Supernatural

Before I start raving about this show, let me be very clear: this show is a huge commitment. Their twelfth season starts on October 13th, so just letting you know if you start it on Netflix now you probably won't be caught up until February if you do nothing but binge. Anyways, this show has been my life since junior year of high school. Two brothers, Sam and Dean, grew up as hunters of all things supernatural by their dad, John. Their mom, Mary, was killed when Sam was only months old, and their journey to finding the demon that killed her is what this show begins around, though, their story becomes a million times more complicated than what it started with. Thriller, some gore, drama, comedy, and a whole bunch of really hot cast-members, this show is great for anyone who enjoyed Stranger Things, Doctor Who, The-X Files, and even those who aren't necessarily into the sci-fi/supernatural genre. The characters are extremely likable (or the polar opposite, looking at you Metatron), the plot line is intensely gripping, and the 70s classic rock music is hard not to sing along with. High recommend this show, just remember once you're sucked in, nothing else matters.

3. OJ: Made in America

This 5-part ESPN 30 on 30 was my LIFE for weeks this summer. I convinced all my friends to watch it and we did nothing but pick apart and rave over how phenomenal this show was an how big of a screw-up O.J. Simpson really is. Of course, most people know about O.J., or have at least heard his name. This documentary goes into deep detail not only on the case, but his life before the murders, during, after, his friends and family, the public's reaction, the government and how they handled the case, literally everything. I didn't know the entire extent of his crimes, and upon watching this I became enthralled with needing to know everything that happened, which this show gives its audience. Though there is a few minutes of showing the actual crime scene uncensored, the rest of it is pretty tame. Not entirely suspense or thriller, but there's enough gripping material for all you fans of the genre.

Movies

1. Colonia

This movie is terrifying for a different reason other than it being a thriller: it actually happened, and not that long ago. The movie is set in 1973 Chile when supporters of the deposed Chilean President Salvador Allende were abducted by the government and brought to the infamous commune "Colonia Dignidad" run by lay preacher Paul Schäfer. Lena, played by Emma Watson, admits herself to Colonia Dignidad after her boyfriend Daniel, played by Daniel Brühl, was forced to go there. Essentially a cult, once there, you cannot escape. Men and women are completely separated, mating partners are chosen very rarely, and any women who disobey the law of Paul are taken to "men's night" and are then verbally/physically abused to learn a lesson. The movie follows Lena and Daniel and their journey to find each other and escape back to Germany. This historical film brings to light some of the things that happened within the camp, including different modes of torture, overworking the members of the colony, abuse against men, women, and children, and other horrors. The movie kept my muscles tense from beginning to end, I legitimately got arm and leg cramps from watching this movie. My heart wouldn't stop racing, and I couldn't help but feel like saying anything slightly opinionated would get me in trouble and sent to the colony. The worst part about the whole ordeal? It still exists. Though Chile became more democratic in the 1990s, Colonia Dignidad has remained unchanged. In fact, allegations of humiliation and abuse increased over time. Though people of the public are expressing their distaste in the colony, this might push them to form an independent state within Chile. Regardless, I think this should be a movie everyone needs to see, because it's not only historical, it's extremely well-written and played out.

2. The Ninth Gate

This. Movie. F*****d. Me. Up. I had to watch this movie three times before I finally understood what the hell was really going on. Johnny Depp plays Dean Corso, a rare book dealer who finds rare texts for paying clients. Boris Balkan wants to find the nine illustrations missing from an extremely rare seventeenth-century satanic text called The Ninth Gate. Caught up in the hunt for the illustrations, many strange and supernatural events happen to Corso as he gathers more pages. Though I can't explicitly say why this movie messed me up so much, I can say that this is a great example of a psychological thriller, meaning, if you don't watch it a few times you won't understand what the hell just happened. There are, of course, satanic themes in this film, an an atmosphere of distrust and a race against time. If you like movies that make you really analyze and come up with theories, this is a great film for you to watch.

Video Games

1. Outlast

This is my one and only recommendation for suspense/thriller/horror. This game is bone-chillingly terrifying, disturbing, and by no means for the faint at heart. I already hate playing scary games because I get a little too into it (ie. screaming everyone awake at 2am), but this game is one that I love and loathe myself for playing. The original game is played in first person perspective as a freelance journalist Miles Upshur after he receives a message describing the breakout of homicidal patients at Mount Massive Asylum, a private psychiatric hospital, and decides to go investigate with his journal and camera in hand. The DLC is Whistleblower, which follows Waylon Park, the man who sent the message to Miles Upshur. No weapons are used, just the ability to run fast and night-vision, which is partly why this game is so terrifying. I really hate being chased. I hate tag, I hate when people playfully run after me, I. Hate. Being. Chased. It's why I can take off so fast at any given moment because I hate being chased so much. So of course, 85% of this game is solely based on running away and hiding from enemies, so yeah, I really hated this game for that. But the atmosphere that builds and builds makes the few jumpscares so much more realistic and unexpected. The dialogue is disturbing, the color scheme is sickening, the characters are so scary, and the gore is almost over the top. Though it sounds as if they are directly exploiting mental illness, you find that the hospital isn't necessarily for those with mental illness. Criminals, mentally ill, and even normal people that worked there were subject to tortorous experiements, breaking them to become homicidal maniacs. If you're up for a challenge and a good mental ass-kicking, this game will definitely deliver. Even though my nighttime paranoia skyrocketed while playing this game, it really did bring the fear-factor to a whole new level.