That's right folks: abounding joy. The kind of joy that David describes in Psalm 16:9 when he says "therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure."
The kind that shows through happiness, gracious words, and unexplainable excitement about all the minutia of day-to-day engineering school.
The kind of joy that the Lord has been washing over my life recently has been one of deep contentment in long hours of classes and projects, in relishing time in meetings because the conversation is so sweet, and in happiness for the productivity that the Lord provides, even when that means late sleepless nights.
Quick backstory about how this all came to be, and much praise to the Lord for writing every bit of this into my story.
For the first chunk of my time at Mines, this joy was so far from the case. Freshman year arrived, and in my mind I would be jumping right into classes that were relevant to my desired career path in Biomechanics. Reality check to all you future engineering students and/or current freshman: they have to make sure they can trust you with the hard stuff before they let you jump right in. Ever so unfortunately, that means the engineering curriculum takes you through basic engineering courses for 3-4 semesters. For a young, passionate, outgoing girl who wanted to be impacting lives the minute she walked onto campus for orientation weekend, this was incredibly difficult. School felt a little purposeless when the jist was basically "do these 1,483,518 homework problems about infinitely long frictionless planes that have little meaning in practical application" and repeat that for the next two years. Talk about a kill-joy. I desired so deeply for my satisfaction to be in my impact on something greater than myself, and engineering school seemed to be letting me down.
Fast forward to beginning of my junior year, just one semester after filling out an application to transfer schools, and the Lord had totally rocked my world. The truth behind Philippians 1:6 when Paul says "that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" came pouring out over my life and I got to see those first two years, albeit in retrospect, through an entirely different lens.
That time was not purposeless. My hard work during those years was not for naught. The Lord was preparing my steps for something much greater to come, and I was just not given the foresight yet to see what that 'up next' was going to be. This all came to make sense to me while I learned that I needed somewhere else to put my satisfaction, because counting on my impact on the world and success in engineering was all too fleeting of a foundation.
After reading Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts" I learned about the power that a thankful attitude has over our lives. When we truly live every minute deeply in surrender and thanks for every bit of it that we do not deserve, everything changes. Eucharisteo, the greek word for this kind of deep thankfulness, changed my world by creating a new appreciation in me for all that previously seemed mundane, boring, or pointless.
I know we have all heard this, but I want to say it again because once this made sense to me, life had a new glow. Y'all: your attitude is your choice, and your attitude can be the deciding factor between a life busting at the seams with joy and a life lived at the whim of day to day circumstances. We choose, daily, what our attitude will be. We either give authority to circumstantial things, or we give authority to a God who is infinitely greater than those things. It just truly is that cut and dry; we don't get to have one foot in both of those streams, because they flow in exactly opposite directions, and only one of them flows towards abounding joy.
When this truth finally sank into my stubborn heart, engineering was no longer so purposeless. Long days were no longer so futile. Time seemingly wasted on conversations with this or that person was no longer a source of stress.
Engineering is a big part of the Lord's story for me (and so many others) and is the avenue through which He is using me to bring light to sometimes dark situations. Engineering is also the source of many of my friends who speak more truth into my life than I have experienced in a long time (squad, I love y'all dearly). Long days are a gift, because the energy to get through those is truly divine provision because Lord knows I am not that strong of a woman without Him. Time in conversation is some of the most life-giving time for me each week, and the Lord continues to give me that time because He knows how to romance my heart.
Life lived in the wake of circumstances is like a never ending roller coaster, on its fastest setting, with no seat belts or safety bars. I blame no one for being utterly terrified and ridden with anxiety in the midst of that.
Life lived in the freedom given by a God who provides eyes to see and ears to hear that life is more than just a bundle of circumstances is more like that same rollercoaster, set to a similarly fast speed, with all the safety gear to strap you in, while you are hand in hand with the Creator of all things. Not only is He making sure you are safe, but He is there in it with you.
How could joy not abound when your Maker has you cradled and promises you (every single time you question it) that you are loved, you are valuable, you have purpose, and you are part of a beautiful story much bigger than your own life?
Praise the Lord for that good news.
Maybe this stream of my thoughts is just a little clarification for those of you who know me and don't get why I am generally more peppy and passionate about engineering than the typical nerd. Or maybe it clarifies the same thing but about someone else in your life.
Beyond that, though, this is more than my personality coming through in writing. This is my God showing His character through my words, and oh the joy I feel in being part of that.
I almost guarantee that you know someone else whose story sounds different but is rooted in the same joy provided by the same grace from the same God. And if you don't think anyone in your own realm is coming from a similar place, start asking. I am humbled by what I learn about my community when I start actually knowing them and listening to their stories.
So, thanks be to Jesus that I, and maybe some of you reading this, walk around Mines with an ear-to-ear grin, a laugh that is probably too loud for being indoors, and a passion that is refreshed daily by Him who knows my heart better than even I know it. The struggle of engineering school might not be the bees-knees to everyone, but it sure has become that to me.
James 1:2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
Y'all rock for reading this through to the end. Cheers to another week written into each of our stories... let's make it a great one!
