Lately in my personal circles, I’ve seen a drastic rise in ableist slurs and other twisted dialogues, including ones putting disabled people at the butt of jokes. Quite frankly, I’m sick of it. Being disabled myself, getting to know my mental and physical capabilities has been challenging on so many levels. I feel as though too often in today’s society, disabled people are silenced, discredited, and brushed over constantly. It’s time to start talking.
According to the Stop Ableism website, ableism by definition is “a set of practices and beliefs that assign inferior value (worth) to people who have developmental, emotional, physical or psychiatric disabilities.”
No one wants to talk about the skeletons in humanity’s closet, because obviously hashing out systemic wrongdoings is immensely uncomfortable. But, the question stands: how are we possibly supposed to challenge a “set of practices” that are so heavily ingrained in our society without confronting them head-on?
Let’s get some things straight. First, ableism is not people “getting offended too easily” or “playing the disabled card.” Ableism is discrimination and preconceived notions about disabled people regarding their identity, their capabilities and their worth.
The truth is, if you are abled and neurotypical (bonus points if you’re cisgender, heterosexual, white, male or all of the above) today’s society is made to cater to you. When disabled people confront you on your use ableist slurs or tell you something isn’t accessible for them, you don’t get to be angry at them, laugh at them or invalidate them. That’s not the solution to eradicating systemic oppression.
Before I sat down to write this, I reached out to my friends and encouraged any and all disabled people to come forward if they felt comfortable. I asked them questions from things about their personal experiences with invalidation from abled and neurotypical people, to how they feel like the abled community sees them on a daily basis.
A very close friend of mine had a very insightful perspective, and though they’d like their identity to be kept confidential, gave me permission to quote them as follows:
“My ESA [emotional support animal] very much helps my anxiety and depression because it's something that I have that cares about me and needs me. Something about taking care of a living being really helps my anxiety. It is something to add to my daily routine which is very important to someone who suffers from mental health issues. I also experience a lot of disassociation and being alone can be very scary for me because I have experience strong hallucinations from the anxiety of being alone. One of my biggest problems is my nightmares and lucid dreams. Sometimes I wake up unaware of where I am and it can take hours to settle and sleep again. My cat sleeps on top of me and waking up and feeling her weight on me makes me feel safer. If I get restless in my sleep she even will hit me to wake me up. I wish people understood mental health disorders are literal chemical imbalances in the brain. They're not a Tumblr fad. But also not everyone is suited for prescription drugs so people have to seek other methods. ESAs are a true testament to that. I also wish people didn't try to abuse the system by trying to get their pet made into an ESA to avoid renter pet fees.”
Many people don’t realize that when we talk about disabled people, we aren’t being exclusionary. The term “disabled” can apply to any physical, mental, or emotional/personal disparity. For a lot of folks like my friend afore quoted, their validity as a disabled person is questioned daily because of the fact that their illnesses cannot be physically seen. Disabled people don’t have to prove themselves to anyone, and there’s no such thing as “not being disabled enough” for a space or right to accessibility.
On top of blatant discrimination disabled people face daily, the use of ableist slurs doesn't help, either. The use of words such as r*tard, cr*zy, cr*pple, d*mb and st*pid is sadly an every day occurrence in the modern world. But, these aren't the only words that can be detrimental to the disabled community.
Many people don't realize or don't take the time to acknowledge that terms like "blind as a bat," and "It's OK, I'm deaf too" are inherently ableist and there's nothing you can do to change their meaning. Disabled people, of course, can reclaim these words and phrases if they choose to do so, but you, abled folks, don't get that right.
If you'd like a list of some ableist words and phrases to avoid, you can find them here! If you'd like to learn some alternatives to these slurs (which I would highly suggest) you can find those here, here, and here. There's also tons more information to educate yourself with all over the internet.
There's absolutely no excuse to use offensive language. Cut it from your vocabulary or you'll be cut from our lives.
