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The ABCs of My First Weeks at College

But why are there never paper towels in the community bathroom?

McKensie Gress

Oct 19, 2018

Hastings College

921

c1.staticflickr.com

And I'm lost again….

But why are there never paper towels in the community bathroom?

Can you have a mid-life crisis at 18?

Drunk people. Lots and lots of drunk people.

Empty rooms...wait, people are already dropping out???

Face breaking out. Is it from all the dessert or the stress?

Golf, school, and clubs, do I really have time for it all?

How am I supposed to get down from this bed without hurting myself?

I don't know anyone here.

Just forget about quiet hours, they apparently don't exist.

Kainotophobia-fear of change.

Late nights...doing homework...totally not watching a movie.

Making sure you have snacks for every occasion and mood.

Naps. All the naps.

Oh sh-! I have class in 5 minutes!

Please let there be good food for lunch.

Questioning whether I should drop out and work at McDonalds for the rest of my life.

Required activities until 11pm during Week of Welcome?! Why can't I just go to bed????

So much debt. Lots and lots of debt...

This class is killing my soul...and it's only the second day.

Um, did you say free????

Very loud people next door.

What is sleep?

Xtra sketchy washing machines. Why must they flood every use?

You best believe I'm procrastinating homework for Netflix.

Zipping across campus because you only have 10 minutes between classes.

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The ABCs of My First Weeks at College

But why are there never paper towels in the community bathroom?

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The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

Syllabus week doesn't exist.

You can forget to breathe OR to buy fruit OR to even pet a dog but you cannot forget these things!!

All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

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