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A Self Reflection

I have been attempting to work on myself and evolve over the past 7 months, and for a while, I thought nothing changed until I took a car ride to think.

Brittney

Jul 13, 2019

Jacksonville State University

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I started a goal about seven months ago back in January. I was not happy with myself nor was I happy with the state of mind I was in. So my goal was to grow and become the person I've been envisioning. So for about seven months now I have felt as if nothing had changed, but a week ago I had an epiphany. I encourage you all to do self-reflection, it really is a confidence booster and is great motivation. Growth isn't growth no matter how little Because you moved from one point to another. So be proud of the growth you have endured.

About a week ago I was driving around without a destination and a heavy heart. I had my "sad" playlist on shuffle and "Sometimes" By Chelsea Cutler started playing. I'd listened to this song various times before, but for some reason, this time just felt different. While I listened to the song, moments of me laying in bed crying to sad music started to play in my head like a movie trailer. And then I started to cry, not tears of sadness but tears of joy. I have been on the journey of growth for about seven months now and honestly,

I felt as if nothing was happening. I felt as if I hadn't changed; as if my train hadn't even left the station yet. But it has left the station and I am not the same girl I was seven months ago. For years I have been so comfortable in my state of anxiety and depression that I hadn't even realized that I have outgrown my comfort.

I will always have anxiety and depression, but in the last seven months, I have stepped outside of that comfort by giving a speech in front of strangers, started working in a new environment, gave myself a new attitude, made new friends, and started doing things alone. It's been a while since my heart was unusually heavy and now I know why.

My heart was heavy because I was failing to realize how much I've grown in the last seven months. The growth does not stop here. Self-love and growth is a journey without a stopping point or destination. I am loving the young women that I am growing to become and I can't wait to see where I end up in the next 7 months.

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A Self Reflection

I have been attempting to work on myself and evolve over the past 7 months, and for a while, I thought nothing changed until I took a car ride to think.

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

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1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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