I started a goal about seven months ago back in January. I was not happy with myself nor was I happy with the state of mind I was in. So my goal was to grow and become the person I've been envisioning. So for about seven months now I have felt as if nothing had changed, but a week ago I had an epiphany. I encourage you all to do self-reflection, it really is a confidence booster and is great motivation. Growth isn't growth no matter how little Because you moved from one point to another. So be proud of the growth you have endured.
About a week ago I was driving around without a destination and a heavy heart. I had my "sad" playlist on shuffle and "Sometimes" By Chelsea Cutler started playing. I'd listened to this song various times before, but for some reason, this time just felt different. While I listened to the song, moments of me laying in bed crying to sad music started to play in my head like a movie trailer. And then I started to cry, not tears of sadness but tears of joy. I have been on the journey of growth for about seven months now and honestly,
I felt as if nothing was happening. I felt as if I hadn't changed; as if my train hadn't even left the station yet. But it has left the station and I am not the same girl I was seven months ago. For years I have been so comfortable in my state of anxiety and depression that I hadn't even realized that I have outgrown my comfort.
I will always have anxiety and depression, but in the last seven months, I have stepped outside of that comfort by giving a speech in front of strangers, started working in a new environment, gave myself a new attitude, made new friends, and started doing things alone. It's been a while since my heart was unusually heavy and now I know why.
My heart was heavy because I was failing to realize how much I've grown in the last seven months. The growth does not stop here. Self-love and growth is a journey without a stopping point or destination. I am loving the young women that I am growing to become and I can't wait to see where I end up in the next 7 months.
