Being a freshman at James Madison University has its own struggles that I deal with every day, from time prioritizing to scheduling all the social events I could attend. It's a hectic time filled with nonstop classes, studying, and adapting to this new environment. Being away from home has been a strange new adventure.
For 18 years of my life, I lived under my parents' roof, depending on them for certain things. Then the day finally came to head off to college, 129 miles away to be exact. And add into the mix my almost 2-year-old sister Joni, and things get crazy.
Being away from Joni has been something I've struggled with since I decided where I was going to school. I knew I'd be missing out on a large fundamental chunk of her life by leaving home. At almost age 2, she's changing every day, saying new words, doing new actions, and understanding more of the world around her.
Not being there for it all is something I've had to come to terms with. I haven't been the best at that one. Most siblings get to spend a significant amount of time together before the oldest heads off to college. For Joni and I, we got about 18 months before I was out of the house. A 17 year age gap makes things interesting. It's a lot harder to develop a relationship with the way siblings who grow up together would.
So, to my little sister...
From the second you were born, you've lit up my world with your high pitched squeals and adorable, bubbly laugh. Teaching you new words and laughing at how cute they sound was the highlight of my days. Being denied hugs and kisses along with laughs as you ran away always brought a smile to my face.
Now, being away from you and only seeing you over the phone, on Face Time calls and Snapchat stories from mom has been a rough transition to deal with. I have this urge to go home at strange times just to see you and get a kiss and a hug to make everything better.
Not being able to just walk into the house and see you has been a hard thing to swallow since coming to school, and now being in my second semester of college, it hasn't gotten much better. I constantly think about you and wonder what cute words you're speaking today, and how much you have torn apart the living room with your daily activities.
Did you have a good nap? Are you running around the living room because mom gave you an Oreo? I crave to know and see those events every day, so here's my promise to you.
I promise to never abandon you as we grow up. I promise to see you whenever and as much as I possibly can while I'm away. I promise to be a support for you as you go through the trials we call life.
I didn't have an older sibling to look up to, so I want to be that for you. I go through life knowing that I will have a younger sibling depending on me as you get older, and for that, I will always be the best that I can be for you, to always be there for you, and to love you unconditionally.
And that's my promise to you.
