Dear Summer Body,

"Disappointment" is not even a word that would I would employ to express my feelings towards you. How could you do this to me? We have had multiple conversations, some even starting last summer, about how great you were going to be this year. You were going to be toned, tanned, and muscular, but the farthest you got in that competition was sunburned; the ugly stepsister of being sun-kissed.

I had high hopes for you, but you blew it. Granted, I may have partaken in some of your failures, but that is no excuse. Sure, I may have worked long, 40 hour weeks. And yes, I did not take you running as often as I said I would. But to have a whole two and a half months, and still make me feel insecure? That is on you, bud. Did you not see the other summer bodies? Those were made by hard work inside and outside of the gym, with a proper nutrition and sleep pattern.

My suspicions are you did not see them enough, due to the fact I would be awoken in the middle of the night with a craving for some chocolate.
That is another issue we need to discuss-- chocolate. Yes, I understand I have the tendency to seemingly inhale it at times, but you need to realize that it is no longer something that should be an obstacle for you. If I have a few pieces of the delicious candy, I expect to have the appearance we discussed over and over again; not Free Willy's understudy.

I am most tormented over the idea that you do not want the same things I do. After months of conversing back and forth, it has come to my attention that we just may not be right for each other, and that is something I am finding difficult to become accustomed to. In my wildest fantasies, I pictured us together at the beach, walking along the sand and having the time of our lives together. I do not even like the beach, but would go there for you, just to show you off.

The problem is not me, but most definitely you. I hope someday in the years to come we will have an agreement and reunite- as for now, it is a see you later. You are welcome next year, but please do not make a one-time appearance and leave.
Sincerely,
Me