Senior year was supposed to be the best year of my life. I was supposed to have fun with my friends, go on prom, and even graduate in front of my family. This was the year that me and my cousin I always dreamed about since we both were curious about where we would go for college. I always thought that he wanted to go to Penn State, while I knew that I wanted to go far. I hoped for our future to come true, until October 30th came by and bit me in my butt. I will not go into detail about what happened, but that day I lost four family members, including my cousin, who was supposed to graduate with me. We had our lives planned out, yet his life was cut short.

I tell this story because I know that some people can relate to the feeling of wanting to tell someone what is on your mind, but it is impossible for you to do so. I wish I could tell my cousin so many things that I want to tell him, but I just write down my thoughts and hope that he is listening from the clouds above.

Dear Syeed,

We both decided that we will be going to Penn State. I know that was your top choice, so I decided to go for you. You would be happy that I actually felt confident about this decision. You would have loved to take pictures with me on May 1st as you know my hair was looking good. You were so photogenic, so I know we both would've taken some fire pictures.

Graduation is about to approach and I constantly get reminded that you are not here. After you left, I struggled with figuring out who I was and how I was going to move forward. I felt this numbness in my stomach and this feeling could never go away. As I was moving forward in my life, I thought that you would be angry with me but I know that you would not want to see me succeed in life. So, I finished the school year with all As, of course; you how I am with school. I also signed off the year as the President of the Honor Society, and I think I was a good leader. You would have been proud of me.

I am sorry that you could not be here with me, as I would want that more than anything. You are the most important person to me as I wish you could be physically here with me. I know that you are looking down on me and is smiling at my accomplishments. You made me stronger and helped me believe that I am capable of everything. You helped me create a blog and allowed me to explore my passion for writing. I love you and I will never forget you. You were the easiest hello and the hardest goodbye.

Sincerely,

Kayla

When you have a loved one that you miss, always remember that they are looking down on you. It may be difficult to think of the positive, but happy times will come soon. They are proud of all the accomplishments that are happening in your life. After all, the journey is what helps you reach your final destination. Pain is only temporary, as my pain taught me that I am a strong woman.