We all have a band or musician that we have an emotional attachment to whether it is a rock, country, jazz or rap artist. Many people think it's idiotic to “worship" bands and artists without realizing that as an audience hearing certain messages within songs and feeling the lyrics deep in your soul, is a humble sensation.

Growing up I struggled a lot. I had lots of insecurities and I would put it on those around me and then cry wolf when they returned it back. I realize that now that I am older. During a few times throughout my life, I have fallen heavy into depression and the only thing that truly helped me stay afloat was listening to music.

My father introduced rock music to be in middle school after downloading it on my MP3 player. Sadly- the younger generation doesn't know what these are. Anyways, I was introduced to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Korn, Skillet and many other bands. I feel in love with the music. Head over heels in love. I found something that I could put my soul and mind into.

I found myself listening to these songs on repeat for hours, learning every single lyric to their songs. Woke up in the morning and I was listening to them. I listened to them when I went to school, when I ate lunch, when I came home, when I was with friends, when I was alone, when I was sad, when I was happy. I listened to music all the time.

Through this band, I learned to cope with my depression and anxiety and allow the music to take in my pain. Through music, I was able to express myself in more ways than one. I felt connected on a spiritual and emotional level with these songs. When Chester commuted suicide in 2017, I cried. I sat in my room and cried that night because we had lost such a good soul to a monster that is created inside our minds. Part of me was conflicted. If someone who sang about his pain and turned it into hope and looked towards the future, then how could I? I then realized that we all struggle differently and depression does not discriminate against you whether you are rich, poor, black, white, young, old, beautiful or “ugly", whether you have everything you ever wanted or you have nothing at all. Through Chester's passing, I learned how important it is to reach out to your friends that you know who struggle. Even if you don't know someone that much, take a few minutes just to reach out and make sure they are okay. Never ignore any signs that indicate someone might put themselves or others in danger.

In other notes, on July 27th, 2019 I was able to see two of my favorite bands of all time: Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace. Dancing in my seat, singing my heart out and screaming the words to every single song to both of them left we feeling so blissful. I was shot with this feeling of just pure bliss. When you watch the people you grew up listening too for over 7 years, it hits you with all the memories of times you wanted to give back up but you didn't. I am thankful that I never gave up and I continue to do so. Seeing the band interact with the audience, give hugs and invite people onto the stage, it's made me realize that for most of these bands, it's more than just making music, being famous and having money- it about impacting the lives of those who listen. While they may live a different lifestyle than the average joe, they still are human just like you and me.

Thank you, Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace for keeping rock alive! One day, I WILL meet you! 🤘🏼🎶

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