Well, I have to admit this. Flying to the United States at the age eighteen all the way from the opposite hemisphere was one of my greatest decisions. I have met some great people ever since and guess what? I, honestly, have never experienced major racism. It’s true! Luckily enough, every non-Indian has been really kind to me. But I definitely have had people say or ask some ridiculously hilarious things related to my nationality. And that’s okay! Ignorance isn’t a crime now, is it?

Every Indian ever is going to land up in at least 60% of the following situations. So listed here are the Top 9 things non-Indians say to their brown homies:

1. "I just love that dot you wear on your foreheads"

That dot. Totally! That full stop, right there.

2. "Omg my neighbor is an Indian too! What a small world..."

Umm....right! It's not like there's a possibility for our population to be huge or anything...

3. "Do you speak Indian at home?"

Just like you speak American, British, Canadian, etc...Sure! Yes!!

4. "How are you liking non-spicy food?"

I don't know, bro. Since birth all that my taste buds have experienced is spice. This is a new feeling altogether. I'm so glad you get me.

5. "How do you speak English so well?"

I don't know, maybe because I belong to the second largest English-speaking country. And you?

6. "Do you have air conditioners in India?"

Kill...Me...Now.

7. "Is it normal for you guys to sing & dance on every festival?"

I cannot promise you anything but doing the shimmy is involved, yes.

8. "I absolutely LOVE your tan!!"

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Except.....it is not a tan.

9. "You must know how to do yoga, right?"

OK... that's enough. I DON'T KNOW YOGA.

All said and done, I know nobody is ever trying to offend us, maybe they have just not been given the true impression of us. And regardless of everything, meeting all the people who say such things is extremely enjoyable. I am ready to do that for a thousand more years. And don't question that, I grew up watching Bollywood movies. I believe in unrealism.

Also for the record, yes, I used to go to school on an elephant's back!