If you've moved five-plus times throughout your childhood, there's a good chance that one of your parents is/was a coach. Especially when you're a kid, moving and town politics seem like the end of your world, but you realize that you're so glad you got the chance to start over...multiple times.
1. "Let's go around the room and tell your name and hometown."
Yeah, the anxiety starts here and doesn't really get better. Do you say your most recent town or where you spent the longest amount of time? I usually just pick my favorite place and mix it up for every class.
2. Please don't ask me what my parents do.
Listen, I understand what it feels like to have people persecute you based on who your parents are, and I'm willing to bold-face lie to you about their jobs. Just because my dad is the coach at the local college does not give me an advantage in middle/high school! THIS IS NOT 90210!
3. If my parent coaches a sport that I am able to play, I have probably/am still playing it- so you probably shouldn't ask.
Yes, my dad is a basketball coach. Yes, I play basketball.
(This is especially necessary to remember when the kid you are speaking to fits the mold of the sport- i.e. if the daughter is over six-foot.)
(Exception: if the person you are speaking to is over the age of 23, you may ask this question.)
4. Don't assume I'm a military brat or a missionary kid.
There's nothing wrong with either of those, it just get's a little worn out when people interrupt you with, "oh, so your parents are in the military?" LISTENING COUNTS, PEOPLE.
5. We can separate the few from the phony in a heartbeat.
First impressions are literally everything. We can cut through the "it-girl/guy" persona like a slightly melted cheese.
6. Small towns have nothing on us.
(Insert that Miranda Lambert song)
Yeah, they're all about who you know and who knows what, but after moving that many times, why try to keep up? There's more to life than 20,000 people.
7. Home is synonymous for gym/field.
You probably grew up running through practices, sleeping through games (no matter the decibel level) and being babysat by your parent's team. You knew the ins and outs of each facility like the back of your hand, even though you might have only lived there for a year.
8. Hatefulness.
You might have gone through a period of hating the parent that was the coach because "he/she made you move" and "how could he/she do that to me?" That phase probably occurred through middle school and you cared way too much about what your classmates thought of you. (Note: if you haven't gone through this stage, never do.)
9. Gratefulness.
Yeah, moving when you're young and awkward sucks, but it makes you a better person. Cultures and cardboard boxed ground on you to create who you are today, and you'd be crazy to change any of it.
