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9 Things Your Dog Is Thinking Right Now

"Are humans just really big dogs?"

Honor Ford

Mar 13, 2017

Susquehanna University

Honor Ford

I think about dogs constantly. My dogs, my friends' dogs, the dog I saw on campus last week that basically made my year the best year ever - all of them are perfect and beautiful creatures. The world does not deserve dogs. Sometimes I wonder if dogs think about me as much as I think about them. That's probably not possible, but they've gotta think about something, right?

1. Here, they're probably thinking, "Who are these strangers and why are they wearing weird full body fuzzy suits? Are they really big dogs?"

2. "Our humans have shoved us in these ridiculous sweaters but they have TREATS!"

3. "Human, I know you did not throw the ball."

4. "Please pet me. I am a good pupper. I am a pupper-in-training."

5. "I am King Pupper."

6. "Why has human grabbed my tongue? I was licking his hand to tell him I love him."

7. "Why is human so close to my face?"

8. "Car rides with my human are the best!"

9. And when you come home from college..."I've missed you, human."

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9 Things Your Dog Is Thinking Right Now

"Are humans just really big dogs?"

1. Here, they're probably thinking, "Who are these strangers and why are they wearing weird full body fuzzy suits? Are they really big dogs?"

2. "Our humans have shoved us in these ridiculous sweaters but they have TREATS!"

3. "Human, I know you did not throw the ball."

4. "Please pet me. I am a good pupper. I am a pupper-in-training."

5. "I am King Pupper."

6. "Why has human grabbed my tongue? I was licking his hand to tell him I love him."

7. "Why is human so close to my face?"

8. "Car rides with my human are the best!"

9. And when you come home from college..."I've missed you, human."

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It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

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2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

4. Only having to hit the snooze button three times.

5. When you didn't do the homework and the teacher decides not to collect it for that day.

6. Getting that "I'm sorry, but class is cancelled" email.

7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

8. Actually enjoying a class and understanding all of the material.

9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

1. You can't remember your last day off.

2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

3. When you do see your friends, you're in a "treating mood."

4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

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