Politicians aren't especially known to be trustworthy. More so, known to be manipulating and conniving liars who will do anything for a vote. It's hard to know exactly what you're voting for when voting in any election. But especially for this upcoming presidential election, it seems as though we have picked the worst of the worst. As if we literally searched the whole country for the worst candidates to be considered to lead this country and I wouldn't trust any of them. And there's a lot of things in this world that I wouldn't trust, but here are some pretty untrustworthy things that I would choose over our current presidential candidates any day.
1. Oatmeal raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies.
Seriously, this is just kind of evil. Biting into a cookie and expecting gooey chocolate and getting a big bite of raisin is enough to make me never trust a plate of those delicious looking things ever again. But, those cookies never change political parties and views in order to appeal to a majority. So I think I'll trust the deceiving cookies more.
2. A Big Foot sighting
I'm sure you did see him. I'm sure it wasn't bear, your dog, or a squirrel! But until you show me the actual Big Foot, I'm definitely not going to believe it. Unless you make me choose between that and enthusiastically voting for a current presidential candidate. Then I'd be all over finding Big Foot.
3. Jay-Z and Beyoncé's relationship
Don't even get me started. The emotions I'm feeling over this relationship is unbelievable. I totally don't trust Jay-Z and whatever infidelities he's up to. But he also hasn't deleted hundreds of emails for whatever reason, so I would trust him over some of our current candidates.
4. Illuminati conspiracy theories
I'm sure those YouTube videos you watched were super reliable and had great sources, but no I don't think that Rhianna is trying to start a new world order. And yes I know that Drake said 666 in a song once. You haven't convinced me that he's Satan yet.
5. A pregnancy announcement on April 1
The thing every teenage girl did to her mom and boyfriend on April Fools Day and then quickly realized was the stupidest thing ever. If you tell me that you're expecting on April 1, you should probably expect me to laugh in your face. But I would believe April Fools Day pregnancy announcements over the promises to restore this country looking at the candidates that we have now.
6. Sushi I found at the gas station
I don't think anyone could force me to eat raw fish wrapped in who knows what at the local 7/11. But if I had to choose between building a wall and some sweaty fish... bring it on, sketchy gas station.
7. The Arab Prince that keeps emailing me
Apparently, I have like 7 million dollars that this royalty is just waiting to give me. Totally doesn't seen shady at all, right? But I think if I hear one more misogynistic comment from a candidate, I might be hitting up my prince for that money he's promising me.
8. "You're the only girl I ever talk to."
Do not trust him! Just walk away now. As little as a trust this sentence, I would believe it in a heartbeat over the excuses we're hearing from presidential candidates this year.
And finally...
9. Donald Trump's hair
Enough said.
