1. You have to want it.

Long distance is not for the faint of heart. This is the first thing you need to make a long distance relationship work. Nothing else that you do will matter if you don’t want the relationship to work, think it’s a burden, or forget its there.

2. Make sure to communicate your reservations.

Long distance is hard and it can not survive without communication. It’s important to be honest not only with your partner, but with yourself as well. If you have doubts about the state of your relationship, its alright to ask if the two of you are okay. You will appreciate the open channels of communication when your partner is just as open with you as you were them.

3. Randomly text cute messages to each other.

This can be anything from a spontaneous “I love you” or that cliché kissy face emoji. Its the icing on the cake when it comes to a long distance relationship. Getting a text in the middle of a shitty day lifts your spirits and lets you know your partner is always there for you.

4. Tell them you love them everyday.

In my experience, I needed this. You’re going to doubt the state of your relationship countless times, but if you’re showing you care, the relationship will go that extra mile… pun intended.

5. Have realistic goals for your futures.

You need to be on the same page as your partner and ask yourselves some hard questions. Will I move to the other person or will they move to me? Do we want the same end goal? If your answers are that your boyfriend will follow your career wherever you go and you want to grow old and wrinkly together, you’re going to be alright.

6. Talk about your day every night.

This will help you feel present and important. You can talk about low and high points, goals for the week, and goals for your relationship. You can use the internet to find more topics to talk about if the conversation runs dry. One of my favorites was a list of questions designed to help you know your partner better. Examples are, “What was your first impression of me?” “What words would you use to describe me?”

7. Set up a video chat platform.

Video chatting is the closest thing to seeing your partner in person. It will become your primary mode of communication. Coordinate a common time when you can both talk about whatever comes to mind.

8. Watch Netflix or cable TV show at the same time.

A relationship can’t survive on just trust and communication; it needs common interest and excitement. My boyfriend and I would watch Game of Thrones while on FaceTime and talk about the episode afterwards. It helped to created an environment of inclusion in each other’s lives.

9. Online Multiplayers are your friends.

This one applies to the couples who say, “Those who slay Darkspawn and feral ghouls together, stay together.” Playing video games together online will give you a mutual activity to continue to bond over. Just make sure you’re both on the same platform!